| Zita the Aerialist Promo (PG) |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|10:16 pm] |
Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there. Rated PG
The more mature themes in some PG-rated motion pictures may call for parental guidance. There may be some profanity and some depictions of violence or brief nudity. But these elements are not deemed so intense as to require that parents be strongly cautioned beyond the suggestion of parental guidance. There is no drug use content in a PG-rated motion picture.
zita-promo
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| Vita Arts fundraiser, July 25th |
[Jul. 8th, 2009|10:48 am] |
Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there. “No matter how enlightened you are, as long as there are people suffering, you still have plenty of work to do.”
Who: Levity, Chimera, Dyno, Zita, and more fabulous aerial talent!
What: The first fundraising event for Vita Arts, a new non-profit arts organization
Where: Versatile Arts, 7601 Greenwood Ave, Seattle
When: Saturday, July 25, 2009 8:00pm - 10:00pm
Why?
Seems to me, many people spend a long time building their lives into something they can be proud of, something comfortable for them, in order to be safe to accomplish another something that’s bigger than themselves.
I have done my fair share of struggling, trying different configurations, playing small and dreaming big. Over the last few years, I’ve contemplated what the bigger thing might be, for me. Sure, I sometimes make people happy with my art. I make money helping other people do cool things, I volunteer, and my financial/geographical footprint is about 15% of what it used to be when I worked for Microsoft. I even turn the water off when I brush my teeth most of the time. But what can I REALLY do to make a difference in life?
When it came time for me to serve the world somehow, I found that I wanted to create a non-profit organization to help perpetuate the transformative capabilities inherent in expressing ones self, artistically. To make a space for people to experience the healing opportunities I have had through art in a more tactile, kinesthetic way than I have with my personal offerings of performances, music, paintings and that sort of thing.
I know art saves lives, because it saved mine. I’ve seen the results, and heard the stories of others, about the power of artistic expression to heal and transform. Whether it be from seeing it, appreciating it, facilitating it, being it, creating it, failing at it, living it - I maintain that art has the power to touch absolutely everyone.
I’ve also seen how sharing myself artistically often effects and inspires people to action. How the experience of art opens people up to expressing life, to telling their once-quiet stories through a medium, helping discover courages and strengths we so often convince ourselves we don’t, or can’t, have. How art helps people face their fears, release difficult emotions, grieve, find direction and purpose.
Perhaps most importantly, I have seen how, no matter how bleak and helpless a situation may seem, one small, brave action creates a chain of them. Every time.
It’s never too late to choose to make a difference.
Vita Arts is sharing the power of art with the disadvantaged and transforming lives.
Our performances offer the public a chance to see our skills, and to be moved by the human spirit. Our shows also serve to fund and publicize our outreach efforts, working with individuals in small workshops, giving them a chance to experience creating art for themselves, perhaps for the very first time.
We are starting local, with two public performances and a workshop being planned in 2009 alone. We look forward to expanding our efforts in the coming years by collaborating with other organizations (such as disaster relief orgs, loss support groups, and those helping reform the incarcerated) to offer transformative art experiences to the disadvantaged of all ages, around the world.
Come find out more about who we are, what we’re doing, see a great show, and best of all, help make a difference.
Please note: If you are unable to attend this event and wish to support us, we are gratefully accepting donations. Provisional 501(c)(3) status is in the works, and will backdate once approved for tax deduction purposes. You may send donations to Vita Arts, PO box 20233, Seattle, WA 98102.
Thank you, so much, for your support.
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| The Pink Door, July 26 & Aug 2 |
[Jul. 6th, 2009|10:26 am] |
Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there. Who: Zita at The Pink Door
What: http://www.thepinkdoor.net/
When: July 26 and Aug 2 from 6-9pm
Where: 1919 Post Alley, Pike Place Market
Miss Charly is once again out of town, which means you should come see me strut my tailfeathers in the dining room. Reservations strongly recommended, ’cause this place is effin tasty, people.
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| Burien Strawberry Festival, June 21st |
[May. 28th, 2009|10:28 am] |
Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there. Who: The Cabiri will be setting up Daedalus, our freestanding aerial dance rig, for all-day performances!
What: Burien Strawberry Festival
When: June 21 11am-6pm
Where: 4th Ave SW & SW 146th St, Burien
Free!
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| Burning Beast, July 12 (Arlington) |
[May. 28th, 2009|10:14 am] |
Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there. [singlepic id=568 w=200 float=left]Who: Myself, Dyno and Tamara are performing aerial
What: A an outdoor, fire-cooked feast of medieval proportions! Food comes off the fires around 6pm. Make a day of it - come early and stay late. Smoke Farm has 360 acres to wander and a river to dip in.
When: July 12, from 2 to midnightish!
Where: Smoke Farm: 12731 Smokes Road Arlington, WA 98223
Website: http://www.smokefarm.org
Burning Beast returns to Smoke Farm for its second, sure to be celebrated, culinary firestorm. The Stranger Slog called it “the worlds funnest and most delicious feast in a field cooked by Seattle’s best chefs.” Eleven star-studded cooking teams gather to prepare and master an assigned animal, vegetable and/or sea creature, whole or in parts, using fire, earth, steel and little else. The jaw-dropping list of participating chefs includes; Dylan Giordan (Serafina), Angie Roberts (Boka), Matt Dillon (Sitka and Spruce & The Corson Building), Garret Abel (DeLaurenti’s), Dustin Ronspies (Art of the Table), Gabriel Claycamp (The Swinery), Ron Jones (Jones Glassworks), Tyson Danilson (Le Pichet), Jonathan Sundstrom (Lark), Zephyr Paquette (Elliott Bay Cafe), Jennifer Alphonsine (Circa Alehouse), Seth Caswell (emmer & rye) - and more!
Entertainment included! Featuring aerial thrills provided by the amazing Zita, the incredible Dyno and Tamara the Trapeze Lady! Plus, music by ‘The Hallways’.
Atmosphere - outdoor casual. We encourage guests to THINK GREEN carpool, and bring along reusable plates, cups and cutlery (if you can). Plus - it’s a lovely place! Bring picnic blankets, swimsuits, comfy footwear, and healthy appetites. burningbeast@smokefarm.org for questions/info. See you there!
Tickets are $75, from http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/68737
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| Daedalus Rising, photos |
[May. 3rd, 2009|12:15 am] |
Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there. Daedalus Rising was super fun. The weather was perfect for us, our audience was gracious and totally into it, and Daedalus is one sexy bitch!
I ate fire, got spun on the rope, beat the crap out of the artistic director and got to crawl through the crowd hissing at people like an animal. What more could I ask for, dare I say? Actually, I suppose apathetic sound guy could have picked up a clue or two along the way, if I had a say in things…
Our blocking for the exceptionally complex piece I was in went straight through the window with no lyrics for us to que from due to tech difficulty. I felt awful for The Red King, who traveled all the way from Portland to perform his music and had no mic. Thankfully he has an extensive visual element to his performances! We were off kilter, but pulled it out like crazy and our audience of 2000 people, a new personal record (SEAF last year was 1500), was totally stoked.
I was unable to see most of the other pieces. What I was able to see of the performances were well done - I’m impressed with the ability of the performers and crew to maneuver an uncontrollable outdoor environment and the various unexpected difficulties that provides.
[nggtags gallery="Drising"]
Plus a video from http://www.capitolhillseattle.com/2009/05/02/cal-anderson-aerial-show-pictures-movies !!!
Fun stuff. :) I have a great time performing in that piece.
Free to the public!
Who: The Cabiri
What: Aerial dance
When: May 1 2009.
Where: Cal Anderson Park
Read the rest of this entry » |
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| Seattle Fashion Week is less than a week away! |
[Apr. 11th, 2009|02:11 pm] |
Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there. I just got back from SFW rehearsal up on queen anne hill (which I biked up, rawr!). I’m getting excited! It’s going to be a hell of an affair. Tickets are just $15 at http://www.seattlefashionweek.net/ticket It’s a real steal, from what I have been seeing in rehearsals and how huge the event is.
I got some great feedback on my walk, which I was pleased to have considering I’ve walked on the runway maybe twice I think, and the last time was the Crave party (for the same people putting this on, picture below) like 4 years ago or something.
Read the rest of this entry » |
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| The Ghost Game wrap up |
[Nov. 2nd, 2008|09:52 am] |
Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there. We wrapped The Ghost Game at Youngstown in West Seattle last night, striking the show as time crept into my birthday. It was a very fun show to work on and to witness, I started really getting into it on the third and last performance.
As I was leaving, word spread that I am a year older this day, and the cast sang me happy birthday. John caught the tail end of it on video - while putting scaffolding together!
I’ve improved greatly in acceptance :)
I came home, replied to some email and hit the sac. Now for a day of work and more set up/tear down for my Murder Mystery Birthday party tonight. Long, fun weekend!
zzz..
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| Zita the Aerialist: Guest solo artist for “The Ghost Game” Halloween night |
[Sep. 28th, 2008|02:45 am] |
Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there. It really just wouldn’t be Halloween without Zita, would it?
The Ghost Game: Tales of 13 Witches
October 31, 2008 8:00 PM and November 01, 2008 8:00 PM
Youngstown Cultural Arts Center
4408 Delridge Wy SW
Seattle, WA 98106
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/40931%2
The Cabiri are now in rehearsal for their Halloween presentation of The Ghost Game: Tales of 13 Witches. I’m working up some serious badassery for this one, and from what I’ve seen it promises to be an awesome event, and one of the very few performances I’ve done for an under-21 audience.
Performances are currently scheduled for October 31 and Nov 1, and there’s buzz about a possible matinée showing. Check out http://cabiri.org!
Read more about this intimate, interactive evening of dessert, cabaret, aerial dance, and more and purchase tickets at:
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/40931%22
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| Nailed |
[Aug. 17th, 2008|11:06 am] |
Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there. So many years ago it pains me to say, because it means just that much life has passed my way already, I was a guitar player. I came into the world of original music through synth, and my first instrument was piano taught by my mother as a child, but I started out expressing my personality on guitar.
It was a frustrating time. I could pick up other peoples songs in minutes, but my original works always found me with a scowl on my face and a knot in my gut and were quickly thrown away. I hated how shrill and girly I sounded, how sad and painfully child like my voice was. I wanted to be a rock star, with driving Marshall stacks behind me, screaming to the world the rage that I held in my guts day, after day, after day. But my voice was “angelic”, and well, I hated it.
I stuck mainly with covers in guitar work, though there was a guitar song on Altercations. My method of covering on synth is to deconstruct, essentially distill what I internalized from the music I honor in others, and for that part I really enjoyed covering songs on guitar. But the lack of originals caused excessive feelings of failure and hackery. I didn’t feel I was remotely a ‘musician’ until I started producing original work. And well, even then… even now, I have my doubts that I really consider myself that.
Then came the performances of that work. It pained me to be present when someone listened to my music. Though I pushed myself otherwise on rare occasion, I hid behind the protection of the Internet so I never had to see any ones reactions in the flesh to it. I knew it was haunting and striking and that it had a tendency to peel down into the center of peoples melancholy. I liked that, I like invoking depth in people in most everything I express in my life. But I couldn’t handle the praise, and I felt embarrassed to the point of physical discomfort when I heard my own voice. Slowly, starting with that first show for my friends and coworkers in my living room 6 years ago, I have worked toward overcoming my stage fright, my self deprecation, and learning to be comfortable with my unique powers as an artist and musician.
It has been an extremely painful, fulfilling, almost mystic practice in my life.
I’ve since learned why it was, that I struggled so much with owning my music to other people. It always conflicted me, to know that my music was good, that I had something special, but to assume that it had to be bad because sharing it caused me feel so awful. It was the child in me crying out. Unsupported, alone, afraid, unsure. She needed me, cried out for me, and I wasn’t really there. Listening to my own music was like being in a locked cell, listening to the frantic and desperate cries of the greatest love in your life as they’re tortured down the hall. I had abandoned her, just like long ago, when I had needed someone who wasn’t there for me. And when I showed myself like that to people, it was shame and regret I felt. I didn’t understand how to help her. I was hoping they could.
I understand now. And it shows.
Last night, I covered three of the most influential guitar songs of my youth with the grace, poise, and dignity. I faced my audience with appreciation, warmth, and a genuine truth and strength that I have never shown any audience, ever. I gazed around the room at people while I sang and strummed and bore my very soul, cradling her and holding her aloft proudly. She was no longer cold, shivering, hidden, alone, being displayed like a fearful caged animal, with my eyes squinted shut to drown out the magnitude of her cries. God, I wish I had pictures.
Symbolically to this, and not by accident, I was not alone, either. I had a special guest, a new and dear friend, an amazing guitarist and vocalist, Andrew Cardillo, with me - cradling me, holding me aloft proudly, supporting my vision for these songs and trusting me as an artist to do him proud in our first collaboration together. I’ve so often sought that, so often wanted a connection with another musician that I could hold, someone geographically close enough to perform with, someone trustworthy.
For now, I seem to have found that person, that spark to ignite this deep well of potential I’ve flirted with for years in my online collaborations. Someone with similar sensibility to explore new frontiers with, to exercise my musical limits with, to add dimension to what I’ve already been doing, to have fun with, to support in his endeavors as well.
Thank you so much. To my friends who have supported my music, to my fans who have brought me so much warmth and jaw-slacking praises over the years, even when I had no idea what to do with them but argue. To my audience who never fails to share with me the deep stirring movement I invoke in them when I perform. To my supporters at Little Red Studio for believing in my abilities, their unyielding support and guidance, to the wonderful artists of all vocations and styles who have welcomed me into their worlds over the years, to the people behind the scenes that make it all happen.
Thank you to the universe for its infinite possibility and clever, cunning manner in teaching and keeping me on my feet. To teh int0rnetz, to mp3.com, to all the other musicians out there who inspire and continue to inspire people like me to have tried my hand at being as brave as they are. To my Dad for buying me my first guitar, to my ex husband and lifetime confidant for his everpresent support. To Scott, Stu, and Dan, for their particularly focused efforts in helping me lay the groundwork all those years ago. To my Mother. I know you did your best.
To my lovers, and to my enemies, and especially my lovers turned enemies, for giving me so, so much to write about. To Jamie, my brooklyn born drummer and incredible friend. To Chrissy and her unending pool of tranquil, loving support, and her beautiful voice, for finally pouring past my barriers and giving me a cause to open my music to others. To Andrew, my Scorpio kindred with so much left to show me. To Kimba, for letting me straight into his beautiful heart. To Jeff - You are so very dear to me.
And to Clayton. Nothing I could say here would be sufficient. You know how I feel about you.
Thank you for all of it. And so much more. I hadn’t meant to make this a long stream of thank you’s - but, there you go. I know I’m missing people.
I accomplished a dream last night, one that had always felt just out of reach. I hold this in my hands now, in awe, and I’m moved to a silent flush of tears. It’s one of the the most beautiful things I’ve ever felt. Thank you for sharing it with me. I’m brimming. Magnetic. Glowing. Thank you Thank you Thank you. And thank fucking god for yoga! I am so pleased to have discovered it again.
There is so much more to say, but I will leave this now.
Take care of each other,
-nee
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| "Intimate Spectacle: A Quiet Beginning" Feb 9th, at LRS |
[Feb. 2nd, 2007|12:56 pm] |
Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there. Come revel with us as we christen our new home with its first-ever performance event!
On February 9th, Little Red Studio invites you to a very unique experience. (http://littleredstudioseattle.com)
As you arrive, you’ll be lavished with complimentary food and beverages as our troupe members play tour guide for our newest (and still in progress; we know you’ll appreciate the rough edges) Little Red Studio vision!
Then you’ll be treated to our newest show - “An Intimate Spectacle: A Quiet Beginning”. Distilled from classic Little Red Studio events, this show will bring you some of the best and brightest of the performances: Aerial acts, performance yoga, music, poetry, and dance will all be presented in a non-stop format. Join us as we create a comfortable, theatrical atmosphere where you can sit back and relax as our performers seduce, stimulate, and (of course), entertain you.
We hope you will join us after the performance for more socializing and dancing into the evening!
Doors open at 8:30, show will begin approximately 9:15. Buy your tickets at http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/10492 |
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| SEAF: One down, one to go |
[Mar. 25th, 2006|12:33 am] |
First Duo trapeze performance was a-fuckin-mazing. We've really got a great act going on with that thing. I couldn't have asked for it to have been more perfect. I'm beyond pleased with it.
Second performance will be tomorrow afternoon around 4:30/5, in the main open performance area. Tonight was in the theater, which visually is better suited for the act, but much harder for people to find. There is a 'theater' and a 'cinema-theater' which, ok, who the fuck thought that one up? I would like to lodge an official complaint.
Those who were lucky enough to figure out where it was will never be the same, I tell ya. We had the entire place by their unmentionables for 12 minutes and it was stellar. I'm so proud. You're pretty fuckin alright, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) bevsob.
This thing was a big deal to me. Not cause I haven't performed in a while or because it was trapeze and not rope, and not even because it was doubles which I've never done either - Mostly it was the sensuality and allowing that aspect of me to resurface. Sensual for me isn't safe anymore, at least for the last few years it hasn't been, and I considered this to be my first step into allowing myself to connect with people that way again, and have the experience be a positive one. It was smooth as silk and as natural feeling as my morning pee, I am just so amazed and sorta staggering really. It hasn't sunk in yet that I may have finally broken through a long time period of restricting that gift from the world.
The next step is the movie I'm shooting next weekend, which I'm looking forward to even more now. Though I'm not looking forward to the smoking I have to do for the role.
You still have a last chance to catch the act: Tomorrow, Saturday, between 4:30 and 5pm. We'll be on after Quyns lovely tissu routine to violin music in the performance area directly behind the ticket booth.
And massive apologies to the people I was unable to say goodnight to, specifically duskfrog and charmed_art. Everything was running late and by the time I finally made it out, Rob had already been waiting outside for an hour. Apparently I haven't done this enough times yet for him to understand that shows almost always run late, and he needs to wait for my call. heh.
I'll have pictures soon. I've just spent the last half hour sending off mails to all the people whos cards I managed to swipe that got photos of me :) I'm sure a few of them will respond. |
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| Stuff and stuff and lots more stuff. |
[Feb. 23rd, 2006|11:33 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | acting, acts, aerial lessons, arts and crafts, deviantart, health, modeling, music, performances, self photography, show me something beautiful, singing, teaching | ] |
I've been thinking about lots of neat things, doing stuff, feeling pretty good. Feeling pretty significant lately, or at least channeling significant thoughts. I'm in one of those spaces where most of what I think, I visualize as a quote, in quotations with my name by it (or sometimes, "anonymous"); Like all the stuff I'm thinking about is really heartfelt, intense truth that's worth remembering.
Thinking lots about the nature of 'freedom', and how what most people want isn't freedom at all but the quest for community, and how in fact I find it hard to believe that anyone I personally know can even fathom what true freedom would be like or how fucking lost and confused and alone it would feel.. and I've been thinking more about intelligence, and how it effects us as beings, and how it's caused us to become so far removed from the nature of things and the nature of what we are and what we really need in life to be happy.
Of course, I'm not writing it. I should be, but while I'm thinking it, I'm usually DOING something, and by the time I am sitting here and ready to write, I've absorbed it into my subconscious and don't remember how to say it. Like it's graduated to an instinct, much as how your skin absorbs a lotion.
I've been thinking about acting, thinking about the characters I want to play, and choosing a monologue for my last acting class this quarter. I've been deeply considering the roles I am drawn to and how that can show me what I myself need to work out further, observing my points of resistance and separating them from simple preference, fine tuning my radar for why I do the things I do.
I've been thinking about how I will have to change myself to be successful at acting, to be capable of becoming a truly great actor with the versatility and skill I'd like to have. From learning dialects, to using my stage fright, to being capable of releasing myself into a character, there are a lot of amazing and wonderful things to come for me because of my decision to finally do this.
I've also been reconsidering my view on my artwork, and how important it truly is for me to continue to let it mean to me what it does. How important is it really to suffer so intensely for it? Do I REALLY have to take it so fucking personally? Do I have to be so protective of it, so raw about it, do I have to let it stress me out? Do I have to fear what people will think of it, pine for acceptance of it? Do I really?
No. No, I really don't. It's hard and awkward, but I've decided to remove myself from my art, look at it as a tool of expression rather than the essence of it. I want my paintings to be an expression of my soul, not a gaping bleeding piece of it that I crucified in the hopes that it might make you accept me. That doesn't do me any fucking good, it diminishes my spirit and knocks me down a notch, it's painful and it's irrational and it's NOT NECESSARY. Where my art comes from is not going anywhere. Thinking that if it doesn't hurt I'm losing it just wears down my avenues for expressing what I'd see always available to me anyway, if I pulled my head out of my ass and looked around a little.
My art isn't going to abandon me, and it doesn't have to hurt. I can do it when I'm in a good mood as well as when I'm in a stressy depressive funk. I've decided that the compulsion to wait until I have nothing BUT art is just another way for me to fucking procrastinate and be lazy, which has become more apparent in the last year or so that I've not been as depressed as often as I have been in the past. I've decided that every day doesn't have to be a fantastic art day, just as long as I do some form of art. I have decided to become a fucking professional. I've decided to go to fucking work.
It's been a long time since I was thinking about things like this. Lately I've been pretty much sailing through, enjoying my (still novel) ability to just calm the fuck down once in a while and live my life without constantly dwelling on HOW to live it. My acting class has really gotten my creative thought process working again, and reading WAR OF ART, though not apparent immediately, has rejuvenated and focused me a lot. It's a great, easy read, and I think every creative should read it over and decide what's in it that applies to them. You might go though the book thinking "Well, duh.." the whole time, like I did. But it has the power to transform, truly. I should mention, I didn't bother with the last chapter.
It's amazing how a slight spin on a notion you have already accepted will cause you to think about it differently. Like a closed ear hole being poked back open with an ear stud, simply emphasizing a different word in your favorite mantra can be the force that pops you through a new layer of skin and deepens its meaning. I learned that trick from the ever-amazing duskfrog in the sense that a passage in a monologue can mean infinity depending on what word you emphasize, and like most of the things she says, that principle applies with most anything at all. I equate that lesson, as well as "You have all the time in the world.", as being the bulk of the knowledge that set me apart from the other people auditioning for the role I just got. That, and I took care to research her character so I knew what the director was thinking for her.
I shoot my first speaking role tomorrow. I feel calm. For now :) |
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| Cirque Du Noc postmortem |
[Dec. 4th, 2005|07:27 pm] |
The Cirque Du Noc show is over.
We went an hour over the time the show was supposed to take and no one in the audience remotely noticed. The fashion show portion was entertaining and the MC was pretty cool, turning blatant technical fuck ups into humor and being all-around supportive. The crowd was encouraging and fun - it sorta scares me to consider that crowd with lots of alcohol in them, I'm glad the fetish ball with booze was after the fashion show :)
I got a few compliments and got to see euroboygenius and Winegenius(TM corvida). In fact, I hear euro in the video yelling "WE LOVE YOOOOU!" after my act. hehe :) Yes apparently you do. Thanks for coming. |
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| Zita the Aerialist |
[Nov. 21st, 2005|11:02 am] |
loftyarts.com is going to expire mid December. I am letting it go in favor of my new domain, which is already live, zitatheaerialist.com.
From the site:
The birth of ZitaZita the Aerialist was concepted by writer Winda Benedetti. I became Zita the Aerialist when I played her in the short film "Geek like me" in 2004. I liked the name so much that I asked if I could adopt the stage name Zita. Winda agreed and the rest is history!
I am way excited to finally have a stage name, something that means a lot to me and reminds me of good times. Of course, when I envision Zita, she has a long black ponytail high on her head. Grow, friggen hair. Grow.
As for the show on the 3rd, I have my costume picked out and it looks FAWKING HAWT Y0H. Going to see about rubbing up on someones rope today to test it out and make sure it's performable, but I'm pretty sure I can manage it.
I am actually considering doing my batman routine, or perhaps a shorter version of it. I think I could pull off the whole thing in performance with the aid of adrenaline; not so sure about getting through it all in practice. I went to sleep listening to the track I edited last night, counting out beats so I don't miss my big que if I can't hear the musical nuances. Heh. So I think it's a large possibility I will finally do that act. And if not, I have a backup.
The music still makes me pulsate with energy, I was shaking imagining going through the moves. It's a little ridiculous how life altering that film was for me.
I hope we manage to get a rehearsal at the space with the crew. We're doing this solely for exposure, it would be nice to have the opportunity to perform our best. |
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| Day 3 of the raw egg breakfast |
[Nov. 19th, 2005|01:29 pm] |
So I'm on to day three and I feel really great. Like, I feel good. I worked on the rope after a long absence yesterday and did well, plus I'm not very sore today.
However, my stomach has been continually .. vibrating. It's hard to describe, but it's fluttery all the time, and at night I get some pretty painful gas. And yes, I know it's gas, I get the IBS action going on if I'm stressed or depressed so I know what it feels like. Rob says his stomachs been weird lately too, but does not himself eat raw eggs on the mornings, so I don't know what the deal is, but I'm watching it closely for changes, particularly within the first 4 hours of eating the eggs.
My fudge turned out, I know the recipe is solid, but I definitely want more bay flavoring. I packaged the batch I did last night for sale at the market tomorrow, and failing that, gifts. Yay, gifts.
So now I'm off to a meeting for a show I may be volunteering for. Please comment here if you would like to be added to my mailing list, I don't really bother to announce much on the journal anymore. |
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| Modeling Update: Photo from Martini Heaven |
[Nov. 12th, 2005|10:53 am] |
Was at Marcus' Martini Heaven in Pioneer Square being body painted for some Camel cigarette promotion. First paid modeling gig ever. It was way fun. |
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| Not Applicable Live show. |
[Nov. 8th, 2005|05:21 pm] |
I'm going to play live again. Probably in my living room again, too. The date is Jan 18th, 2006. I picked a weekday in case I can maybe set up at Toi or something and make it a bit more official.
I am fucking tired of hiding that part of me.
I hope you'll all come. Will post more info as it is available.
http://notapplicable.info |
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| SANCA Performance at Westlake Center |
[Sep. 23rd, 2005|02:09 pm] |
In lieu of bevsob's recent muscle-pully type thing in her ribs, I stood in as a 4th performer today from 11-1 out in front of westlake center. I had been approached by Chuck to perform for this event, which was to raise awareness about the future construction of the bus tunnels under the city, but declined after a few practice sessions that felt really difficult and sloppy.
I was really nervous in the begining, we started out on trapeze which is not my best aparatis. My performance was rushed and jittery. I pretty much didn't want to be up there at all after seeing the first two acts, and I think it was pretty obvious that I felt like the retarded baby of the group. I was happy though that no one knew I would be there, so I didn't have any room to feel like shit when nobody showed up. I think I will tend to not announce my performances in the future.
I rocked the rope for the most part. My straddle-ups were a little bent, but I'm not in very good shape and have been smoking lately, so fuck it. I managed to gracefully pull off a total fuckup with ease, that actually turned out so well I want to see if I can recreate it; It was the half drop that I have done a million times, but in this instance I didn't wrap around my waist first and was holding the rope out to my side, when I dropped into it, the wrap around my thigh slowly moved down my leg to my knee, and then to my ankle. I didn't feel at all anxious while it was happening and knew to just flex my foot and all would be fine. Aside from the rabid flicking of my foot trying to get the stupid ankle wrap off, the move turned out really well, especially considering it wasn't expected and I'd never had that happen before.
I was pretty tired right away, but thankfully I had a good bit of down time before having to go up again. All in all I probably did 15 minutes on the rope and 5 on the trapeze. My second trapeze act felt great, but of course none of the people I knew taking photos got any of it - feh! I am getting to be pretty proud of my rope abilities, and I am doing more and more things that I've discovered on my own, that I don't see other people doing. That feels pretty neat.
I enjoyed myself and will take opportunities in the future to do informal things like this. I was expecting way too much of myself as well as the event, it wasn't nearly as formal and rigid as I'd been forcing my mindstate to be in, and I didn't have to be up there as long as *I* wanted to be, so in reality there was little reason to pass the gig up in the first place. But live and learn, you know. It's not like I've done this much in front of audiences or as a representitive of an organization.. I don't really know what I'm doing.
Thanks to my husband for taking photos, and babydoll_77 for coming out and seeing me perform while she was here:
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| Finally saw "Geek like me" |
[Sep. 13th, 2005|11:04 pm] |
It was pretty cute. Shorter than I expected, but pretty cute. The showing consisted of three movies, all directed by John Vechey (VeeChee), shown in the Seattle Art Museums theater.
"Clown vs. Mime"
Though the title seems like you just couldn't go wrong, this piece was lacking in basic character development. There were some really cute parts, which I think is rather unavoidable when you have a clown and a mime fighting each other with light sabers, but ultimately you just didn't give half a shit about either of them. The production was quite nice, and the soundtrack was fitting, but otherwise this short fell.. short. Hah. John says that when he's famous, this will be the one he tries to bury. He thought the light saber thing would just.. be enough. It wasn't. Thankfully though, the piece has merit, because everyone has preconceptions about clowns and mimes to draw upon when viewing it. I don't suppose it would have been as entertaining if they were say.. people in bunny costumes. But you never know.
"Geek like Me"
This is the film I participated in. It was cute, though I felt that there could have been a bit more development with these characters also, it was worlds better than Clown vs. Mime. It's about a circus geek (Chopper), who bites the heads off chickens, enduring the plight that is vegan love. The presentation of the characters was strong in the beginning, but tapered off as the story moved on. The performances were mostly believable, but a lot of the movies lack of development in the characters could have been compensated for through a bit more energetic acting (just my opinion). It also would have been nice if the movie had been a little longer to add more likability to the monotonous main couple. The story was well rounded, and the finished product was definitely worth watching, but I can surely see how adding a little bit more could have vastly improved the overall takeaway from the movie; like say, an additional scene after Leo the teenwolf hit it off with the animal lover, cementing their attraction and adding a little more depth, and working with the main couple to add some chemistry. In every scene with his supposed love interest, Chopper was grossly uncomfortable.. I had a hard time figuring out why he was trying to be with that girl in the first place. The production quality was best in geek out of all three films; the sound was very well done, soundtrack quite charming and the film looked amazing. This film shows a director, crew, and writer that have major potential.
"Interview with a zombie"
Haha fuckin shit this was great. The audio could have used a bit more production, it was a little loud and overdriven, but man was that a fun little movie. It was made in response to 1 Reels Film Challenge, in which directors are asked to create a short film based upon one question. This year, the question was "Are you fucking kidding me?". John, Winda, and crew did an excellent job, and the acting was ace. I don't want to say more about it in case you get to see it. I thought it was great, as will you, unless you're a fucking idiot.
I recall, and I remember writing, quite fondly of the production teams involved in these movies. John is a very down to earth, sweet guy, and best yet; He gets off his ass, gets movies made, and in the process he respects his actors, producers, writers, and even extras, treating them with the importance that they all deserve.
John is someone I would call an up and comer. At least I hope he is, because I can see very well the talent and progression in these three movies, which get better as he chronologically creates them. And frankly, there needs to be more people in this line of work who treat their contributors the way he treats his, so the fact that he actually has talent just screams to me that he should and will be successful. Don't turn into a egoist jackhole while in LA, John, or you'll make me look like a dipshit. I do that enough without other peoples help.
Speaking of looking like a dipshit, my take was total ass. I recall the set, and I remember when we shot that day it was below freezing until well into the afternoon, and we were shooting in a barn in the middle of nowhere. I did the 8-or-so foot drop about 20 times, and my take shows the fatigue. Most of the time I'm in the background after I get out of that drop I'm fumbling just to get a fucking climb wrap around my leg. How embarrassing. :/ Thankfully, I'm the only one who would be bothering to look at me since the focus is on the two characters in the foreground. I kinda knew that was going to be the case, I did this movie nearly a year ago now before any of my Toronto training and before I had my current (actually, former. I've been sucking a lot lately.) conviction on the rope, but knowing I was going to suck didn't make the reality of my suckage immortalized in film any less lame. I mean, that's why I don't do porn, after all.
The costume, however, that bevsob let me borrow, looked fucking great, and the drop itself was passable. And, my face looks rather fetching on film. :P I still really wish I'd get some of the stills I'm owed, I hope they turn up sometime.
What a feeling to watch my name roll past in the credits!
Zita the aerialist: Courtnee Papastathis. Name spelled correctly and everything. That felt a lot more.. amazing, than I figured it would.
I hope very much to work with John and Winda again, it was so much fun and I'm so thankful for their kind hearts and open arms. They have really helped fuel my desire to try my hand at acting, knowing that it really can be fun to produce physical art and not every production will have a cloud of mental and spiritual discomfort hovering over it like most others I'd been a part of prior to working with them. It was well worth the week of not being able to walk or properly get out of bed after shooting :)
I may be performing at westlake center next week. I will know more tomorrow. |
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| More |
[Aug. 28th, 2005|10:40 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | arts and crafts, circus, costumes, fitness, makeup, modeling, music, performances, school, show me something beautiful, singing, teaching | ] |
I want more. There are so many things I want to do. I was told to make a list. So...
Things I am already working on:
I want to be a decent aerialist, who gets to be in shows once in a while, with costumes and real lights and a fucking stage.
I want to get into theater, making costumes and wigs and things, doing makeup, stage managing.. whatever, I can do most anything with minimal learning curve. Still stick with the volunteering to get my fix of that.
I want to continue releasing my music.
Things I know I would be good at:
I want to learn to paint, learn some real skills.
I want to take drawing classes. I know I can draw, already, but I could draw better, and have it make sense.
I want to learn to spin yarn.
I want to learn to make wigs from scratch.
Things I hope I can be decent at:
I want to be an actor.
I want to learn to make wine.
I want to perform music/singing. Open mics is step one. *big breath*
I want to learn perl
Things that I think I want but can wait for:
Knitting cafe
New York (I want to visit Europe first, and I can visit NYC too)
I want to race bikes, but I think I would kill myself currently.
Other things that come to mind, but are still just ideas:
Writing? I've also thought about making hand crafted greeting cards and shit, but other people kinda have the drop on that.
Social issues. I'd like to start a foundation for something. Abused kids, maybe. As long as I never have to deal with any of them. I hate kids. But I know what it's like to be an 'abused' one.
Performance troupe?
College?
And with all this, the intangibles, which I am also currently working on:
I want to have sex again. And I want to fucking enjoy it.
I want to accept a compliment. Really.
I want to let people look me in the eyes without a feeling of impending doom.
I want to be nicer to myself.
I want to be nicer to others.
I want to not feel so fucking alone all the time.
I want to learn how to not hate myself.
I want to believe I can do all these things.
Time to make a plan. |
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| Performance update: Geek like me showing at Bumbershoot |
[Aug. 26th, 2005|10:14 am] |
“Geek Like Me” (Directed by John Vechey) will be showing at Bumbershoot’s 1 Reel Film Festival on Sunday, Sept. 4th at 3:30 p.m.. Shot last fall on 35mm, Geek is the story about two people trying to change themselves for love.
I play Zita the Aerialist, a named extra, in one of the scenes.
I have been trying for many months to claim my copies of the photos I was promised that were taken of me while on the set of this movie, to no avail, and there doesn't seem to be any type of digital flyer floating around; hence text only post. |
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| Does anyone remember the name of the show that hit me? |
[May. 21st, 2005|12:27 am] |
Yeah, ok. Everything was a whirlwind of goodness. Except for somehow forgetting how to open a trunk. Fucking BMW's.
I managed to remember the names of the people who's photos turned out, but other than that, I'm blank. Anyway, here are the photos I managed while manning the rigging for the rope and hoop that I felt turned out. I watermarked them for SANCA but the show had a name, but I felt it was ok to watermark for the school since everyone in the photos is a student there.
Chuck/Jo/Bev/Etc, let me know if you want a CD of the huge originals.
The show went remarkably smoothly and it was for a heartwarming cause. They started the whole thing off with a video slideshow of Jake, the person the benefit was for, who has CP and is seeking a treatment in Poland and all proceeds went to help him pay for it. There were 130 people there, which is a good turnout, but it seemed like less since the theater seats 500. I teared up during the slideshow like a fucking dork, but I really felt good about lending my skills to something worthwhile. I thought it was really amazing how all these people who hardly knew the guy (or didn't know him at all, as was the case with me) came together to put on a really nice variety show to help support him. One of the performers chaulked it up to performer whorism, but frankly I wasn't there to perform and I still felt like I was doing something meaningful, so I'll choose to see more in it than that.
I was on the verge of barfing for most of the night. I didn't eat enough and had to take my antibiotics anyway, sat in the sun in traffic on the way there, I really felt horrible for a long time. But emotionally, I felt pretty good, and that tends to overpower other badness when I can rely on it.
Maybe me up there next time. Maybe not. Frankly, I was exceptionally grateful that I didn't have to perform today.
..I am still working on the act, though. |
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| General performance and training update.. |
[Dec. 11th, 2004|11:46 pm] |
Musica Vitae went awesome tonight. A dear friend showed up, which meant a lot to me, seeing as how he was one of the pioneers of my music and always thought I had it in me to do what I'm doing now. He marks the second person I know to come see it. Next week is the last chance. I've been doing the show every week for two months. It would be nice if I could say I was in a place in my life where that low number didn't make me feel kinda crappy. But at least there is next week, and a number of people have said they want to come.
I'm flying out of Vancouver on Dec 30th, rather than bussing. Unfortunately I learned of this possibility mere hours after I bought my bus ticket, which was non-refundable, but they gave me a travel voucher. Anyone want it? I really need the money, not a damn voucher, but if I can't get rid of it I'm sure it will come of use as a shipment tool. But really, if you think you might be bussing somewhere or needing to ship something through greyhound, please take this thing off my hands. It's $109 voucher.
So, due to a couple old friends helping me find a suitable fare, my travel time to Toronto was cut by about two and a half days. Excuse my profanity, but; FUCK YEAH! Thank god. Really. I mean, I was trying to be gung-ho about the whole thing, but I was NOT looking forward to spending three days alone on a bus traveling across friggen Montana and Wyoming and Nebraska. There are just way too many 'ugh' factors with that setup. I was figuring on never bringing out any of my electronics just so I didn't tempt fate with the white trash Bush supporters that were going to be surrounding me my entire trip. But no worries, now.
I took a week off from training and I felt solid, refreshed, and kick ass today for the show, so I'm really looking forward to going back to classes on Tuesday. I keep meaning to make it to the gym, and to my PT to check out my hip, but I just haven't managed to do it yet.
I settled on http://loftyarts.com for my aerials site. It's registered and such but no one will be around to plug all the things in to make it work until Monday. But this is good, I can go back to this being a journal like I wanted it to be rather than a promotion tool, so I will be unfriending a number of training entries and such in the near future. I created two new closed communities, one for aerial updates and one for hair updates, both of which I inject into the respective pages on their respective websites, so this place should turn into more talky talky and hopefully more updates when I'm not sending hair clients and directors here. This means I'll have to x-post a ton of shit but it feels important to be organized. You will not need to add anything, I will post everything here and x-post the proper entries to their communities. Like always really.
I'm totally falling asleep at the computer, so I suppose it's time for bed. More later. Maybe. |
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| Performance Update: Geek like me |
[Nov. 20th, 2004|03:43 pm] |
Went and shot my scene today. Call time was 6:45am, which was rather workable all considering. I like getting up before sunrise but I crash like a Kennedy in the early afternoon. So I'm spent. And in the tub. Gotta love laptops.
I was in bevsob's sleeveless costume and bare feet, it was exactly freezing in Seattle when I left and Puyallup is a half hour drive south, in the middle of nowhere, where every puddle was frozen and all the grass was blue with frost. And the scene was shot in a big barn outside. I couldn't feel my toes all day, even with the dilligent efforts of my special helpers :P
I'm stiff as all hell now and incredibly sore. Part of the reason that is so is there was absolutely no way to keep my muscles warm without expending massive amounts of energy, which I needed to conserve for my takes. Another part is that I spent a few hours last night holding Acro, Rope and Trapeze positions as motionless as possible for more photography collaborations with Scott Aitken, which was fairly strenuous also. A couple came out pretty ok, I will of course share them once I have them. I have also been promised copies of the photos taken of me for the movie by the David and John, I really hope they remember cause I'd love more 'performance' type photos of my work.
The scene I am a part of was pretty complicated. There were a number of fire performers (Hi Donia!), a strongman, a sword swallower, a guy laying on a bed of nails, a couple Heath Ledger twins who know kung fu, the two main characters and the hairy freakboy who annoyed everyone (In the movie, in person he was a doll), a purdy tattood lady, two 'stagehands (Hi Bradley!) as well as myself in the scene. Lots of things to choreograph and lots of timing issues. Lots of re-takes due to stupid airplanes flying over.
I am so tired. Strange places in my back are hurting me that I normally don't feel at all. I'm in love with the heating pad my husband recently got me. But I'll say it was a ridiculously enjoyable experience other than freezing my ass off and I feel that I've met a lot of really talented, good people because of the movie. Oh, and the food they had was damn tasty. I thanked the caterer :)
Special thanks go to:
bevsob for the introduction, costume, as well as being my friend. Bradley and John for making sure I did not die (Thanks again for the equipment donation Brad, you're too kind.), Charlie for being my official giver of the warm, Molly for being the official giver of answers, as well as Nicole, Gretchen, Director John, Winda, Susan, Walter, Ian, Erik, David, Photographer David, and all the other countless people whos names I don't recall but whos kindness will forever mark my first film experience. Donia, as always you're a riot and it was great to see you and work with you again.
The movie will be screened in Seattle somewhere, at some time, in some theater, TBD. It will also be shown at Bumbershoot next year. W00t! I'm off to munch on kettle corn and bask in the relaxation from my herby-salty bath of goodness. And try to stay awake long enough to not totally screw up my sleep graph. Ta Ta.
(Hey siri, I called you. Tag, you're it!) |
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| Comments on Musica Vitae video and housecleaning |
[Nov. 15th, 2004|02:50 am] |
I've been looking over the video from my acro performance in Musica Vitae and I think it could look a lot cleaner. The performances have been 'flawless' in that nothing has been a catostrophic failure and the power hasn't gone out and no one in the audience has been set on fire, but we can really use a lot of improvement on our lines and overall grace. Both Mike and I are pretty much goofballs so we look a little dorkish sometimes. So heres a list of what I want to improve on before the show ends its run in a month.
What needs to improve
- Better choreography in opening and press-down
- Horizontal front plank (currently it is angled so my torso is high)
- Try to press into foot cathedral rather than hop
- Straight legs during pike decent
- Tilt head back when bending into back plank
- Straighten torso in shoulder stand and stop piking
- Tighten straddle pose toward chest, legs are too high
- Triangle is spot on! Yay!
- Don't bend elbows when pulling off the floor to thigh stand
- Clean up the floppy legs before waist wrap
Things I want to add
- Press-up cathedral after front plank
- Lever ending pose
I deleted all the lj comment notifcations, all the Cabiri emails, and all the stale order confirmations from my gmail account and have less than 1/3 of the mails I started with. o_O I also redesigned how my filters work to better fit my needs.
I deleted all the posts in memories which were categorized all stupid and re-added them all with no categorization so they're easier to look through. I will probably start sending people to the 'memories' posts when I link my journal in the future to make it a little easier to get an idea of what this things about and how I got interested in circus.
Thankfully I'm pretty anal about cleaning my journal of stale, off topic entries once a week or so and purposely keep my friends list small, so not too much needed there. I'm still trying to decide what this things going to look like and if I want to redesign it in the future.
Amazing how a little housecleaning can solidify a new direction, new opportunities, new trials and tribulations. Such an insignificant gesture but somehow, it makes me feel better, and more prepared for whatever is to come. Weird huh. |
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| Many thanks and warm wishes to the Cabiri, fare thee well. |
[Nov. 14th, 2004|08:29 pm] |
Today I offically removed myself from the esteemed Cabiri ranks and will no longer be involved in their endeavors. I would like to take this opportunity to provide a list of the things I am thankful to the Cabiri for in order to express my gratitude for the amazing opportunity that was bestowed upon me.
I am thankful to the Cabiri for welcoming me and giving me a chance when others would not.
I am thankful to the Cabiri for single handedly facilitating my ability to perform. Before I met trapecia through her ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) circus_arts community I had never performed circus arts for an audience. I was not even sure that I could do it.
I am thankful to the Cabiri for offering to teach me new skills and making me feel accepted by sharing their abilities and culture with me.
I am thankful to the Cabiri for making me a better aerialist, a better performer and a better informed person.
I am thankful to the Cabiri for allowing me to be a part of their beautiful, stunning imagry and storytelling.
I am thankful to the Cabiri for opening my mind to new ideas, new cultures, new theater and new ways of thinking.
I am thankful to the Cabiri for challenging my problem solving skills and helping me in my never ending quest to become a more tolerant, patient person.
I am thankful to the Cabiri for all the experiences it lent me, both enjoyable and nightmarish alike.
I am thankful to the Cabiri for giving me the opportunity to work with truly impressive human beings.
I am thankful to the Cabiri for letting me know when it was time to accept defeat and move on.
May you continue to dazzle and amaze for many more years to come. Namaste, and try to forget the rest. |
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| Performance update: Geek like me |
[Nov. 14th, 2004|04:46 pm] |
I spent most of the day meeting and greeting with the cast and crew of my latest gig, an "extra" role in the short film "Geek like me". I was informed that they were looking for an aerialist by my aerial bud bevsob (who was also gracious enough to loan me the costume I will be wearing) a few weeks ago and as it turns out I can do exactly what they were looking for. Thanks again for the tip.
Everyone I met today was seriously awesome. They have their shit together, know what they're doing, know the direction they're going, know what they want, know what they have, know whos taking care of what.. it's fucking amazing. And oh what a difference having an actual budget makes. It's another project I'm very excited to be a part of and another uplifting performance experience, hurray!
I'm really enjoying myself lately. I'm reminded that not every gig has to be a nail biting nightmare, and just at the right time, too. The Halloween show was both amazing and awful. For a while there I didn't know that I wanted to continue performing at all. Hopefully these low-stress solo gigs will continue to pop up occasionally.. I'm discovering I prefer them to festivals and parties. But that's not a big surprise, I've always been a bit of a loaner.
I've been kicking around the idea of putting on another music show. The last time I did that I put the show on in my living room, but it's not looking like that is a possibility in this house. I don't even know where I would perform music like mine.. or if my stage fright would come back if I tried. Who knows, I'm just thinking about it right now and I haven't played in ages.. I would have to re-learn all my songs, too. So it wouldn't be happening any time soon. :P
I also caught up with another aerial bud from days past while at Bauhaus last night, who's into stunting for movies. We talked about performing stunts and how the industry is lacking women right now.. hmmm, wonder where that might lead.
Anyway, that's the haps for now. A few people took pictures of my rope act/audition and ahve offered to send them my way.. so hopefully another picture post will be coming soon. |
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| Musica Vitae reviewed! |
[Nov. 13th, 2004|09:42 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | acro, performances | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | GITS standalone complex | ] |
Go pick up a Seattle Gay News (Friday Nov 12th 2004 Vol 32 Issue 46) and check out the front page of the Arts and Entertainment section! Theres a fabulous review of Musica Vitae that's like half a page long. Here's what she had to say about us:
"Courtnee Papastathis and Mike Ehmann next performed truly jaw-dropping - and sensual - human geometrics, at least one of which would appear to be physically impossible"
!!!!
Sweet! I wish there was a copy online to link but there isn't. :/ It's a thorough, positive review and it totally made my night.
And another flawless performance, too. We're bored of the act already and want to add a few moves to it. :P |
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| General life update: So many interests, so little .. time. |
[Nov. 7th, 2004|09:01 pm] |
So many things I want to do lately.
Two wigs to work on by the end of the month. Then a set of 60 complicated double enders. This will be challenging and fun.
Got a few photoshoots to do. Nothing's scheduled yet, but there should be a few fun photo updates in the near future, with pictures I didn't actually take myself!
I want to try my hand at making myself a unitard after being inspired by some really badass fabric. I'm sure that will be a time consuming and obsessive nightmare..
I finally got some clay and Plaster of Paris to make my face cast and start making from-scratch sculpted character masks. I'm excited to do that but I really need to get some damn work done first. But at least I have the stuff now, and a few extra canvas' cause they were on sale. *hint* Gallery style canvases in large sizes make good gifts for broke artists *hint*
I need to finish the paintings and masks I have promised to the few people I am doing Christmas for this year, decide what to place in trapecia's box, figure out who gets the store bought things I've already gotten, and make goats_ecx's candle which I've owed him since he bought me the candle making set for Christmas last year. I have to also figure out what I'm getting my husband, my dad, and my mother in law. Meh.
I'm excited to be taking a class at SANCA which focuses solely on Acro and Handbalancing, I'd like to integrate some hand balancing into the act I do in Musica Vitae. My abs are much stronger now than the last time I tried to do any balancing and I can actually do a few cool looking things, even though I can't invert, so I'm stoked.
I'm also wanting to work on a bit of duo trap with aerialscribe if that works out. I'm feeling good about being able to keep my training up while The Cabiri is on vacation for some very important remodels during the month of November (which is probably a little prelimenary since I have no idea how much it's going to cost to do what I want, but whatever). It's nice to feel good about my direction again anyhow.
I'm planning on taking out another massive loan to go to perfromance school out of this country. I haven't decided which one yet, but I'm leaning toward New Zealand as a really cool place to go. I need to talk to more people about their recommendations before I make any hard core decisions, but I've already gotten in touch with CPIT about training there and had them mail me their application. I'm already to the point that it will be hard to be accepted in any hardcore schools (Like Montreal. Man, I wish :/ ) because of my age and lingering injury, not to even mention my lack of natural flexibility, so I'm feeling a real fire under my ass to go do what I've been wanting to do while I still might get a little bit out of it. And it's a great time to get the fuck out of here for a while. |
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| Halloween is OVER |
[Nov. 1st, 2004|02:15 am] |
I couldn't really say the performance went without a hitch, but it went pretty damn well. Aside from technical things and tons of fucking idiots completely ignoring the tape we had sectioning off our stage, there was very little that went wrong. All of our acts were virtually flawless, I hardly had any stage fright whatsoever, and I did not fall and crack my head open during my rope act (which I did over cement), so it's all good, really.
I ended up looking way scary for the second act, when I was dead..
Phear. duskfrog has amazing ideas. It's too bad most everyone had gone home before the second act, we looked really cool. I was a total walking advertisement for the cabiri while at QFC on my way home, buying myself a cake for a job well done.
Infusion was fucking AWESOME! Oh man, lots of bellydance just puts me to sleep, but they were very dynamic and quite amazing. Fucking brilliant, and oh so supportive and kind. They all stayed to see our second act and cheer us on, so freakin sweet of them. The bands were rather enjoyable too, music wise, but the volume got old really quickly. We had to scream to talk to each other back stage, and that's just never fun.
I met this stunning woman, dressed as zorro, also. Her name is "Victoria" *sings it*. Man, what is it with me and chicks who dress in drag? God she was super amazingly hot and elegant and curvy and hot hot HOT! If I ever went out anymore, I would love to dress up and watch everyone die with envy when I walked into the room with her. That way she stroked her moustach, oh man. Weak in the knees I tell you! I really hope she gets in touch.
I am going to be taking a bit of a break for a few weeks, get some wig work done and take a little time to enjoy a life with out the pressures of an upcoming show.. decide where I want my place to be in this troupe, etc. It will be interesting to see how it feels, being away for a while, when the troupe has been my main focus since I joined. But I just know I can't keep up with how much I've been doing, and at the very least I need some time to myself to figure out what I can keep up with. Thankfully, Musica Vitae takes a minimal amount of maintanence, but will keep me 'fresh' for performance as well.
So yeah. I'm exhausted. Hopefully I will have some photos to share very ultra soon, we were lucky enough to have TWO people photographing us, and judging by their little LCD's some of the shots are simply gorgeous. Mad props go out to everyone in the troupe and everyone who helped us get this show done and brought lights and aluminum foil and grass and hoods and costumes and pointy head things. I'm very pleased with the outcome of all of our hard work. GO us. We rule. |
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| Art update: Performance masks for the Cabiri |
[Oct. 27th, 2004|12:53 pm] |
These are my first attempts at mask making. I have a lot of room for improvment. I thought they were ok, but the pictures show otherwise. The blending of the paint is terrible and the cuts are VERY off center. I'm really disappointed in that, and I didn't notice how bad it was until I took photos of them laying down. :/ Bleh.
I got the plastic form from Alyssa Ravenwood, in Portland. She also taught me how to cut and decorate them in a workshop I took last weekend but have yet to sit down and write about. She is an INCREDIBLE mask marker. Check out her works at http://ravenwoodmasks.com.
Deceptively good picture..
( Read more... )
Better luck next time I guess. |
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| Art Update: Pictures |
[Oct. 20th, 2004|04:38 pm] |
These aren't DA material, mostly because they are blurry, but I took a break from making wigs today and took some photos while I was in the basement, starting with shots of my costume for Saturday.
( More stuff ) |
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| Life is so much prettier when I can't see myself |
[Oct. 14th, 2004|04:32 pm] |
Ugh. My god. My rope act is hideous.
*strained climb*
*fumble*fumble*
*floppy legged straddle-up*
*fumble*fumble*
*some halfass crap looking drop*
*fumble*fumble*
*more strained climbing*
Why is it that when I see anyone else perform a rope act, it's graceful and controlled and nice to watch, yet when I see video of myself doing one my lines suck, my legs look floppy, and very little of it looks intentional? Just when I think I'm getting somewhere with the web I make the mistake of video taping myself. I can hardly get through these routines as it is and the effort it takes to correct the things that bother me requires more strength than I have, or have ever had, in the 3 years I've been doing this.
Part of me wants to cut the act from halloween. :/ It's so bad looking I'm embarrassed. |
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| Performance update: Cub scout gig |
[Sep. 29th, 2004|12:07 am] |
Today we treked out to Redmond to put on an hour long demonstration for a Cub Scout troupe on the joys of circus arts. Chuck and Jo from SANCA joined us and were invaluable to the well rounded structure of the performance, and invaluable to me as both my teachers and my friends, so I was quite pleased to finally have an opportunity to work with them outside of classes. I just love those guys and I hope they realize what amazing people they are.
Together we demonstrated and talked about stilting, juggling, poi spinning, ball balancing, dance, choreography, aerials and acrobalance to a room full of children. Everything went off pretty well, except the poi routine which I am still having a really hard time keeping straight. Perhaps I'm just a really bad follower. Next time, we've decided I will lead to see if that's the issue.
I dressed as a tree nymph type thing for this performance.. I like this costume a lot more than the black and blue one, that one is really dark and makes me feel a bit shapeless. Hard to explain. I hope to be able to dress lighter in the future too.
I did an impromptu rope performance on one of the climbing ropes they had hanging in the school gym. I didn't realize for almost two hours that I had just done my first aerial performance for an audience. It really didn't feel like it. It was just 4 little moves to give an idea of what my rope skills were like, since I was using some weird ass thick yet slick rope that would have ate me alive had I tried to do any drops. There was also 0 nervousness about it, mainly because I had not been expected to do it. Perhaps I should just make the troupe lie and tell me that I'm not performing aerials until the night of a gig to cut down on jitters.
Either way, it feels like my stage fright is under control, at least in situations where my voice is not the focus of the performance. I will be able to gauge for sure at our Halloween show, which is considerably bigger and more pressure than this was.
The rope I was using was really weird and not stable for performance, so I didn't go very high. I'm pretty much comfortable doing my stuff at the top of the rope otherwise. *edited to protect the sensitive*
It's too bad I only have 15 icon spaces. I'd like to make one with this makeup.
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| Cabiri show at the Ballard Artwalk |
[Sep. 12th, 2004|12:30 am] |
It went well. As always, little things went off but nothing detrimental. Apparently no acro = 0 nervousness. I wasn't even remotely jittery or uneasy. First time ever when performing. Go me. We actually got pictures of our costumes and stuff this time. Go duskfrog. :)
( 3 )
I thought of all kinds of things to say on the car while still on my performance high and not being able to shut up. Amazing how that works, I showed up at trapecia's about 20 after 5 just not wanting to do the damn thing and being dead tired from braiding hair all day. After the show, I simply can't stop talking loudly and could have run a marathon or something. I'm sure I was annoying and scary.
But now, after the awesome bath that my man had waiting for me when I got home and some grapes/cheese/bread, I don't wanna bother yapping about all the neat things I did. I am going to bed. And I will sleep. Ah yes. |
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| The death of a dream, the beginning of a reality |
[Apr. 15th, 2004|01:48 am] |
It's been nearly two years since I've updated my circus site. For a while there, a lot of other things in life got in the way of my training.
The circus was having problems, moved buildings, I got married, moved residences, all sorts of things. But now, I'm back in the saddle and taking classes again, while also practicing with some fellow aerialists aside from class.
Sadly, I've stopped doing a lot of the circus arts I used to. I havent spun poi or diabolo since 2001, for instance, or tried to juggle. I guess I just want to focus on my aerials since that's what I really want to perform.
I also gave up on Cirque. This is a good thing, because it's hard to make any real progress when your head is stuck up your ass and you're thinking you'd ever be able to do something like that as a starting point. I am very thankful for my reaction toward them, though. Cirque, and circus, literally transformed my life. I am willing to accept that I acted like a fool for a little while when I step back and consider how it only changed me for the better.
Now, I just focus on trying to perform aerials. I have discovered that my stage fright is managable when I share the stage, and when I am not singing. My singing is an extremely embarressing, tender part of myself.. but I would not fall apart if I were to mess up some move in an aerial performance like I would if I lost my voice. Though I have done it in the past, it is not enjoyable for me, and aerials are.
I made it to a stage to perform for a fund raiser, for Circus Contraption. I was a stripper, and I performed many many times on the lyra. It was amazingly effortless. I even fell off the stage (controlled, they didn't even know..) and forgot my act twice, and rolled right through it. It was a fantastic experience and I'm certain now that I can be an accomplished performer. I just need to get into the shape I need to be in. |
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| Gallimaufry |
[Mar. 27th, 2002|11:12 am] |
Been working a job and a half the last few weeks, stage managing gallimaufry for circus contraption. Unfortunately the show, combined with lack of time and the occasional illness has left me with almost no circus lessons in the last month. I am really itching to get back with it, so much so that i've gotten a hold of some rope from a friends boat and cut it into 20', 32' and 40' pieces. This way, when i find a place to hang a rope and practice (the top level of my works parking garage for instance) I will have rope to work with on the spot.
I also have my own full length of spanish web now, but havent had the opportunity to break it in yet. I find myself piecing together acts now, but really have no forum or the talent yet. I can feel that spending time with the troupe is opening me up more in regards to performing, but my stage fright and lack of acceptance from them as a performer is still killing it in the end. Maybe i should take am acting workshop or something. |
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| My first performance. I wanted to die. |
[Jun. 9th, 2001|10:03 pm] |
I performed in my first recital tonight, for the bellevue school of music where I've been studying voice for.. uh, three weeks. It felt absolutely horrible. I couldnt stop shaking, sweating, typical stage fright stuff.. most of the other performers were children. It was really traumatizing actually. I was so upset over my performance I almost cried waiting for the event to finish. I expected the two friends who came to see me sing to be looking at me like 'my GOD you SUCKED!' once we got outside.. so as soon as I'd gotten out the door I just started going on about how terrible I had done, how it hadn't felt like I held one note evenly.
Then I realized they were staring at me like I was crazy. As I was about to go on, an old woman came up to me to congratulate me on the performance and let me know how much she had enjoyed my singing. Promptly after that another person approached me, a parent of one of the other students. After that another. And another. Some of them went on for over a minute. At one point there was a small crowd forming around me and my friends.
The entire time I am going over and over in my head about how I could have done so much better, how they wouldnt be saying this had they ever heard me sing in the comfort of my own home before.. how they didn't know what the fuck they were talking about.
It's no secret that i am most definitely my own worst critic.. but it was terrible god damnit! Stu would have heard it, my voice was shaking the entire time. The only thing I could do to get through it was totally ignore that anyone was actually there and get totally into singing the song, so at least I LOOKED comfortable.. but fuck man! It was WRONG.
No one believed I had never performed before! They didnt believe I hadn't really taken lessons, either. One person in front of whitey reportedly said 'wow, she doesnt need lessons'. Are people so god damn starved for real artistry because of what an assload of shit gets pumped into their heads through mainstream music these days that they'll eat up a terrible performance by someone just because their heart is in it? God.
I don't know if I can do this. |
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