Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

I feel fortunate and full today. I am going to DEFCON this year. I just received my itinerary from whitetras and it’s official. I’m bringing someone important to me to show him vegas for the first time.

I first went in 1995, when I was 15 and neck deep in linux, drugs and Marlboro Reds, and I’d recently discovered this thing called the web, and frequently picked fights about Slackware being superior to RedHat. I recall, during a recent move, finally throwing away my Slackware 2.7 CD which I had been keeping for posterity.

I went to defcon religiously for a time, my entire social network of people living inside a computer. I didn’t know most of their real names. I spent night after late night online tinkering, listening to music for the jilted generation (come to think of it, I think someone I talked to used ‘jilted’ as a handle..) and waiting for the next defcon, so I could see all these people in person again - and hardly remember most of it.

When I got a little older, I started playing with music, and joined mp3.com in 1997. The internet was still like the wild west and we were changing everything. My hacker friends helped me choose my juno 106 (thanks tfish) and hooked me up with equipment to make recording easier (tip of the hat to you whiteknight). After I created my first original song in 1999, on the floor of my living room, juno fresh out of its shipping box, paid for with my job breaking software at Microsoft, I started making a little money with CD sales and streams on mp3.com.

I was interviewed with ABCNews for an article on female hackers, and later about my music being online, based on a recommendation from Jeff Moss, assuring the reporter (Sascha, another person I’ve kept in touch with) I was definitely not a scene whore. I’m not sure how accurate that assurance was, but it sure felt good at the time. I still boast that Jeff pierced my navel, under mild duress in my studio apartment, sometime in 1999. That sounds pretty scene whorish to me, but who am I to say.

Countless things have happened since my first defcon, and my introduction to the hacker community. My first website complete with a blue satin background and ripped off animated fire gifs was created in 1995, hosting a splattering of terrible teenage poetry. In 1997, Lars from the IRC channel #suicide sent me a black and white quickcam, and the neecam was put online, one of the first webcams during the era of Jennicam and Anacam, both of which were more popular, active and racy.

I’ve occasionally contemplated what my life would have been like had I never discovered the internet and been part of a revolution. I can’t fathom it. I can’t fathom how I could have possibly found another pool of socially awkward, skinny, pale, wide-eyed geniuses to have sloppy, dysfunctional relationships with either. One of many reasons I am very thankful that my life turned out how it did.

I happened upon this awesome article about some of my friends. The L0pht is a fine example of what’s happened with this culture of misfits and criminals, but this is something that’s happened all over the landscape we built 10 years ago and long before that. I remember writing a rant about the difference between the hackers, my friends, and the script kids that were getting all the bad press, writing worms and breaking websites for attention. The hackers meant for what’s described in this article to happen from the beginning. They were out to change the world.

LOpht in Transition
04/01/2007
Michael Fitzgerald/CSO
http://www.csoonline.com/read/040107/fea_lopht.html

Brian Oblivion. Kingpin. Mudge. Space Rogue. Stefan von Neumann. Tan. Weld Pond. That’s how the hacker group called the L0pht appeared before the Senate Subcommittee on Government Cybersecurity on May 19, 1998. They said, among other things, that they could take down the Internet in 30 minutes. The senators listened closely and afterward praised them effusively.

It was a landmark moment for hackers, shunned, derided and loathed by the technology industry. And it was a landmark for the L0pht too. Though the group was already known for its vulnerability disclosures, for the Hacker News Network, for tools like the hash cracking tool L0phtCrack, now “everybody [in the hacking community] wanted to be the L0pht,” remembers Jeff Moss, founder of the Black Hat and Defcon security conferences.

Not bad for a group that got its start when someone’s wife said it was time to get his computers out of the bathtub.

The L0pht shaped the way disclosures are handled and helped force vendors like Microsoft to change the way they address software security flaws. There’s no question, either, that by raising the visibility of security problems, the group spurred companies to begin paying more attention to security. “You knew you’d better rattle your own doorknobs before the hackers did,” says John Pescatore, a longtime information security analyst at Gartner.

Some think, though, that visibility has hurt software security. “They were the Led Zeppelin of gray hat hacking,” says Marcus Ranum, who is credited with creating the first commercial firewall product and is now CSO at Tenable Network Security. “By releasing gray hat tools and techniques they were able to get a tremendous amount of attention. And they opened the floodgates for all the bottom feeders that followed them.”

Ironically, it was Ranum himself who helped give the L0pht credibility. As CEO of NFR, which made software to find intruders on corporate networks, Ranum used the L0pht’s vulnerability research to strengthen his product, and hired the L0pht both to do a code review and to write modules for his product, giving the group a legitimate corporate client to tout. He says he considers the L0pht members his friends and says they are “great guys.” But he thinks those who have followed them find vulnerabilities almost as a way to blackmail corporations. He blames the L0pht, saying, “They have changed the industry for the worse.”

Nothing in the L0pht’s emergence from Boston’s bulletin board community in 1992 suggested it would achieve any more notoriety than other hacker collectives of the day. Brian Oblivion, a hacker with strong interests in radio communications, founded the group. Oblivion declined to be interviewed for this article, saying via Space Rogue that he was too busy. Chris Wysopal, who joined the L0pht in late 1992 as Weld Pond (a handle chosen by pointing at random at a map of the Boston area, because the bulletin board The Works forbade members to use real names), says that Oblivion “had so many computers in the bathroom that his wife couldn’t use it anymore.” She gave the group space in the South End artist’s loft where she made hats. And for several years, the L0pht was just a place for Oblivion and his friends to hang out after work and store their growing collection of computing equipment.

Among those friends were Space Rogue and a teenage hacker and skateboarder named Joe Grand, who went by the handle Kingpin (named for the bolt that runs through the truck, or axle, of a skateboard).

Grand calls from the road. He’s often on the road, literally—he is a triathlete good enough to have a sponsor. He’s 31 now and runs his own San Diego design shop, Grand Idea Studio, which has designed RFID and GPS modules for Parallax, an in-game videocamera for Gamecaster, and his best design yet, a video game accessory that he has licensed but can’t talk about.

Grand, an electrical engineer, has also written two books on hardware hacking and is a technical adviser to Make magazine. If all goes well with a pilot he’s recently shot, this fall we’ll see him on an engineering show on the Discovery Channel. Yet he’s nostalgic about the L0pht.

“I’m having a really hard time with realizing that I’m twice as old as when I joined the L0pht,” he says. “We did so many great things—what can I do to top that?”

The L0pht originally built a network so they could play Doom against each other. But they got more serious in 1994 and 1995, shedding some members and adding others with specific technical skills that complemented the group. They moved to a larger space in Watertown, Mass.

Excepting Grand, who was still in high school, all of the L0pht held various day jobs, often working together at places like Comp­USA, Massachusetts General Hospital or BBN Technologies, the fabled research lab (Weld Pond, Brian Oblivion, Mudge and Silicosis all worked there at some point). They kept their identities hidden, in part to keep their day jobs. Everyone in the hacking community knew Dan Farmer had been fired from his job for releasing the Satan network analyzer. But the group wanted to turn the L0pht into a day job.

The charismatic, long-tressed Peiter “Mudge” Zatko had emerged as the group’s public face, if not its de facto leader. He developed, along with Wysopal, L0phtCrack, a tool that revealed weak passwords. Released in 1997, it’s still available on some websites today. “Back then, the companies would pretend [vulnerabilities] weren’t real,” says Bruce Schneier, the noted cryptographer and CTO of BT Counterpane. Schneier says the L0pht’s ability to build tools like L0phtCrack forced vendors to address security problems. “That’s the reason we have more secure software today. If it wasn’t for that, Microsoft would still be belittling, insulting and suing researchers,” he says.

By late 1998, the L0pht was actively trying to attract venture capital and turn itself into a real business—it had pushed out Stefan von Neumann and a couple of other short-lived members, and hired Christien Rioux (known as Dildog) and Paul Nash (known as Silicosis) to support L0phtCrack and do custom work for companies like NFR. The L0pht was not the first group of hackers to offer professional services or tools, but even in the giddy late 1990s, hackers still had an unsavory reputation. Finally, @stake, a security consulting firm, came to the group with $10 million in VC money and told the L0pht it could continue its research. The members voted to join it.

Even so, that merger, announced Jan. 10, 2000, marked the symbolic end of the L0pht. Over the next few years, its members were fired or drifted away, and @stake itself was gobbled up by Symantec in 2004. The only member of the L0pht still there is Nash. The transition was particularly difficult for Zatko, who spent six months on disability and left @stake after just two years.

Today, Zatko’s office at BBN is a rest area for sundry things. There’s a dead computer on a chair, and a working circa-1940s polygraph machine on a table. In a corner are two fishing rods and an antenna, part of an impromptu communications experiment. There’s a guitar signed by one-time porn stars Barbara Dare and Jamie Summers. A bound copy of the L0pht’s testimony in front of the Senate is on a shelf. On one wall hangs a picture of him with President Bill Clinton and Vinton Cerf, in which Zatko’s light brown hair is still rock-star length. It’s short now, parted in the middle. He has a goatee and wears glasses. He’s sore from a boxing workout the night before, a reminder that he’s in his late 30s.

Zatko says he can’t talk about what he does at BBN, other than to say it’s security-related and for some unmentionable three-lettered government agencies. He also says he returned to BBN, which employed him in the 1990s, before the L0pht was his job, in part because BBN told him there could be no publicity about the projects he was working on. “That was attractive as hell,” he says.

But Zatko can’t seem to stay out of the spotlight. He is the obvious model for “Soxster,” one of the main characters in former cyberczar Richard A. Clarke’s new novel, Breakpoint (the L0pht itself appears as “the Dugout”). And he acknowledges that he still “wants to make a dent in the universe,” the old motto of the L0pht.

After an hour of talking about the L0pht, Zatko suggests a tour of the older parts of the BBN laboratory in Cambridge, dating from when it was an acoustics consultancy. He shows off the silent room, the amplification room, the sonar tank, the place where it developed Boomerang—a technology being used in Iraq to help find snipers—and he talks about how much he likes the variety of the cool ideas BBN pursues.

“Originally, the L0pht was meant as a microcosm of here,” he says, with a wistful expression.

The spirit of the L0pht lives on most directly at Veracode, the security software company started by Wysopal and Rioux after they left Symantec in 2005. The company launched at the RSA Security Conference in February.

Wysopal post-L0pht helped codify responsible disclosure policies and establish the Organization of Internet Safety, and while starting Veracode he also managed to be lead author of The Art of Software Security Testing, published in December 2006.

Wysopal, at a rangy 6 foot 2 inches, was the tallest member of the L0pht and the oldest (he’s now 41). Rioux (whose handle Dildog was the original name Dilbert creator Scott Adams gave to Dogbert) was the shortest and youngest (now 29).

In early January, sitting in the conference room at Veracode, the two play Click-and-Clack about their time at the L0pht, and the purpose of Veracode, which in a real sense extends the L0pht’s mission: to make software more secure, in this case by offering a Web-based service that automatically checks software for security flaws, via a clever—and patented—technique for data flow modeling and modeling control flow analysis developed by Rioux.

Told of Ranum’s comments, Rioux makes a slight grimace. “The days are over when we should be flinging mud over the Internet about vulnerabilities,” he says.

Veracode has pulled in $19.5 million in capital from Polaris Venture Partners, Atlas Venture and .406 Ventures. While it has competitors, such as Coverity, Fortify and Ounce Labs, Veracode’s approach is “a cool spin” on existing security technology, according to Gartner’s Pescatore.

Both Wysopal and Rioux believe Veracode is ready to sharply reduce the world’s total number of software vulnerabilities.

The L0pht, then, are all now unquestionably legitimate, and their evolution serves as a metaphor for the security business, which is now mainstream. Companies like Microsoft and Oracle have developed methods to take care of vulnerabilities, and the L0pht deserves some credit for that turn of events. While the disclosure wars are again raging, thanks to bug-a-day campaigns and other ploys by the hackers of today, the L0pht’s overall impact on corporate security has been positive, say many, including Howard Schmidt, who knew the L0pht both in his role as a computer forensics investigator at the Air Force and as CSO at Microsoft.

Still, some vendors continue to try to shove security issues under the rug, and there is no question that more of the Internet is under attack today than ever before. So what of that?

Peter Neumann (no relation to the L0pht’s Stefan von Neumann) is 74 and still a principal scientist at SRI, working on security issues. He also testified before the Senate subcommittee on that day in May 1998. He says security vulnerabilities are a part of a much bigger set of problems that have existed for 40 years and probably will exist 40 years from now. But he chuckles when asked about the L0pht, saying, “They were pointing out that the emperor has no clothes on, and nobody wants to hear that, but they did it in a tasteful way that made people listen. They made a difference.”

I’m so very proud of my friends, and feel fortunate today to have had these people in my life as examples. Hell, just today I discovered a hacker friend of mine, Josh Klein (who I met after handles weren’t quite so important to ones safety, so I don’t know his) was not only the speaker in a TED talk, some of the most amazing presentations on the planet, but was in Oprah fucking magazine talking about his passions and experiments. My peeps are DOING something.

I, too, am out there doing my part to make a dent in the universe. I support a company I believe in as I make my base living to earn the stable springboard life situation I’ve built to do my more risky work. I’ve found a way to channel my compulsion to express and tell vivid stories, and the skills I’ve picked up along the way, toward a non-profit that matters. I have done some meaningful things, and I am growing, expanding, discovering new routes and possibilities nearly every day. I’ve come a long way from the girl who was found passed out under a van before defcon 6 had even started.

For a time, I wondered if my life choices, and the people I spent time with, were the reason I seemed so fucked up and constantly struggling. I wonder 15 years later, if they’re a part of the reason that, right now, I’m not.

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Rated PG

The more mature themes in some PG-rated motion pictures may call for parental guidance. There may be some profanity and some depictions of violence or brief nudity. But these elements are not deemed so intense as to require that parents be strongly cautioned beyond the suggestion of parental guidance. There is no drug use content in a PG-rated motion picture.

zita-promo

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

“No matter how enlightened you are, as long as there are people suffering, you still have plenty of work to do.”

Who: Levity, Chimera, Dyno, Zita, and more fabulous aerial talent!
What: The first fundraising event for Vita Arts, a new non-profit arts organization
Where: Versatile Arts, 7601 Greenwood Ave, Seattle
When: Saturday, July 25, 2009 8:00pm - 10:00pm

Why?

Seems to me, many people spend a long time building their lives into something they can be proud of,  something comfortable for them, in order to be safe to accomplish another something that’s bigger than themselves.

I have done my fair share of struggling, trying different configurations, playing small and dreaming big. Over the last few years, I’ve contemplated what the bigger thing might be, for me. Sure, I sometimes make people happy with my art. I make money helping other people do cool things, I volunteer, and my financial/geographical footprint is about 15% of what it used to be when I worked for Microsoft. I even turn the water off when I brush my teeth most of the time. But what can I REALLY do to make a difference in life?

When it came time for me to serve the world somehow, I found that I wanted to create a non-profit organization to help perpetuate the transformative capabilities inherent in expressing ones self, artistically. To make a space for people to experience the healing opportunities I have had through art in a more tactile, kinesthetic way than I have with my personal offerings of performances, music, paintings and that sort of thing.

I know art saves lives, because it saved mine. I’ve seen the results, and heard the stories of others, about the power of artistic expression to heal and transform. Whether it be from seeing it, appreciating it, facilitating it, being it, creating it, failing at it, living it - I maintain that art has the power to touch absolutely everyone.

I’ve also seen how sharing myself artistically often effects and inspires people to action. How the experience of art opens people up to expressing life, to telling their once-quiet stories through a medium, helping discover courages and strengths we so often convince ourselves we don’t, or can’t, have. How art helps people face their fears, release difficult emotions, grieve, find direction and purpose.

Perhaps most importantly, I have seen how, no matter how bleak and helpless a situation may seem, one small, brave action creates a chain of them. Every time.

It’s never too late to choose to make a difference.

Vita Arts is sharing the power of art with the disadvantaged and transforming lives.

Our performances offer the public a chance to see our skills, and to be moved by the human spirit.  Our shows  also serve to fund and publicize our outreach efforts, working with individuals in small workshops, giving them a chance to experience creating art for themselves, perhaps for the very first time.

We are starting local, with two public performances and a workshop being planned in 2009 alone. We look forward to expanding our efforts in the coming years by collaborating with other organizations (such as disaster relief orgs, loss support groups, and those helping reform the incarcerated) to offer transformative art experiences to the disadvantaged of all ages, around the world.

Come find out more about who we are, what we’re doing,  see a great show, and best of all, help make a difference.

Please note: If you are unable to attend this event and wish to support us, we are gratefully accepting donations. Provisional 501(c)(3) status is in the works, and will backdate once approved for tax deduction purposes. You may send donations to Vita Arts, PO box 20233, Seattle, WA 98102.

Thank you, so much, for your support.

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Who: Zita at The Pink Door
What: http://www.thepinkdoor.net/
When: July 26 and Aug 2 from 6-9pm
Where: 1919 Post Alley, Pike Place Market

Miss Charly is once again out of town, which means you should come see me strut my tailfeathers in the dining room. Reservations strongly recommended, ’cause this place is effin tasty, people.

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

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I’ll be stylin’ when we blow up the world. Assuming of course we happen to blow it up while I’m doing a photo shoot.

Hair by Fiercelocks
MUA/Modeling/Styling by Courtnee Papastathis
Photography by Donald Holman

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

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Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Lordy,  did we have an awesome time performing at Columbia City Cabaret. Always such great fun, and this show was by far the best I’ve seen. It’s an honor to get to perform with such amazing talent in Seattle. As for us, how’s about some video?

Read the rest of this entry »

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

.. she screams telepathically to her minions.

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Hair by Fiercelocks
MUA/Modeling by Courtnee Papastathis
Photography/Styling Donald Holman

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Hm. Well then.

Apparently, my E:\ drive was not actually located on my external hard drive, as I have assumed. Rather, it was on the drive I partitioned and re-installed XP on last night.

My E:\ drive was the datastore which has housed all my source files for my music, images, and video projects for the last two years. A large fraction of the good pictures I’ve taken are on neevita, though the original high quality images of my self photography are now gone.

As for the music and video - I don’t know how much I care to recall at this particular moment how very little of it ever ventured from my drive. I’m sure it will come up over time as I think about things I want and discover they are gone.

Seems rather silly, that the data I’ve been worried about losing if my drives ever failed (or I wiped them out), are the 150 gigs of replacable mp3’s I have.

I suppose one of the fortunate aspects of this, aside from having a clean slate which I do rather enjoy, is how the experience has shown me what kind of relationship I’ve developed with my artwork.

Bummer. Thankfully, I will make more.

Additionally, my potential moving costs now include an external terabyte, which I’ve been putting off for a day too long it seems, to back up what I have left and hopefully prevent this from happening again any time soon. I’m offering all paintings currently for sale at a 25% discount, INCLUDING COMMISSIONS. http://neevita.net/artist/art-for-sale

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

[singlepic id=578 w=200 float=left]Who: A sampling of the last year with Little Red Studio.

What: I will be singing, and performing my favorite aerial piece for this show. It’s not to be missed!

When: Friday & Saturday, June 5th - 6th @ 9PM

Where: 400 Dexter Ave N, Seattle

$20 Tickets can be purchased online at Brown Paper Tickets or reserved by calling 206-328-4758.

We invite you to come enjoy some of your favorite performances from the past year here at Little Red Studio. This will be a chance to sit back as we bring you theater, dance, music, aerials and more from a variety of past shows. A few pieces you can look forward to include “Gett Off!” from the Dance Concert, “Party of Two” from Erotic Shorts, three aerial pieces, and music from the “Red Show”!

We hope you will join us for this stunning evening of entertainment!

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

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Hair by Fiercelocks. Everything else, including picture, by me.

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Who: The Cabiri will be setting up Daedalus, our freestanding aerial dance rig, for all-day performances!
What: Burien Strawberry Festival
When: June 21 11am-6pm
Where: 4th Ave SW & SW 146th St, Burien

Free!

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

[singlepic id=568 w=200 float=left]Who: Myself, Dyno and Tamara are performing aerial

What: A an outdoor, fire-cooked feast of medieval proportions! Food comes off the fires around 6pm. Make a day of it - come early and stay late. Smoke Farm has 360 acres to wander and a river to dip in.

When: July 12, from 2 to midnightish!

Where: Smoke Farm: 12731 Smokes Road Arlington, WA 98223

Website: http://www.smokefarm.org

Burning Beast returns to Smoke Farm for its second, sure to be celebrated, culinary firestorm. The Stranger Slog called it “the worlds funnest and most delicious feast in a field cooked by Seattle’s best chefs.” Eleven star-studded cooking teams gather to prepare and master an assigned animal, vegetable and/or sea creature, whole or in parts, using fire, earth, steel and little else. The jaw-dropping list of participating chefs includes; Dylan Giordan (Serafina), Angie Roberts (Boka), Matt Dillon (Sitka and Spruce & The Corson Building), Garret Abel (DeLaurenti’s), Dustin Ronspies (Art of the Table), Gabriel Claycamp (The Swinery), Ron Jones (Jones Glassworks), Tyson Danilson (Le Pichet), Jonathan Sundstrom (Lark), Zephyr Paquette (Elliott Bay Cafe), Jennifer Alphonsine (Circa Alehouse), Seth Caswell (emmer & rye) - and more!

Entertainment included! Featuring aerial thrills provided by the amazing Zita, the incredible Dyno and Tamara the Trapeze Lady! Plus, music by ‘The Hallways’.

Atmosphere - outdoor casual. We encourage guests to THINK GREEN carpool, and bring along reusable plates, cups and cutlery (if you can). Plus - it’s a lovely place! Bring picnic blankets, swimsuits, comfy footwear, and healthy appetites. burningbeast@smokefarm.org for questions/info. See you there!

Tickets are $75, from http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/68737

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

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Thinking it needs more bubbles. Done with it for the night.

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Many may recall the spectacular story of my ripping all three hamstrings in my right leg and mildly stress fracturing my ischial tuberosity attempting splits on the silks in April of 2004.

As a refresher; I was not warm, stretched to the max (which was far from representing an actual split), and my right hip (the front leg) popped, giving way to the weight of my torso. The tearing of my leg was audible throughout the entire practice space, I’d guess 6,000 square feet of warehouse. I was on crutches for 3 months as I recall, and it took me quite a long time to get back into aerial. When I did, it was to perform my first show ever, with The Cabiri for Trolloween in Fremont.

Now I’m working up to something at least resembling splits as a bit of a life goal, particularly in the silks. From my recollection, this is the best by front splits have ever been - and oddly enough, my ‘good’ splits side is still my right. Here’s where I’m at now, I’m pretty stoked:

Silk splits, May 2009

Flexibility has been by far the most frustrating aspect of aerial for me, as I’m bendy by typical sedentary American standards yet not nearly as limber as most circus artists. Silks have historically only been for ‘bendy’ girls in my mind (along with hoop) until about a year and a half ago when I said fuck it and moved from rope to silks performances even though I didn’t fit my own ideal of a good silks performer.

With some time, patience, kindness to myself and body awareness, I’m slowly coming along and much less hurt than I used to be. I’m very proud when I look at this video. Thanks to Bev for taking it.

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

And here I thought I had chosen serial monogamy in committed relationships throughout my life because I was just too fragile and wasn’t capable of the self esteem to handle anything else. It sure did bug me, though, cause I had lots of fantastic ideas for many different kinds of things. Recent events have shined quite a different light on that belief.  Now I’m beginning to wonder if what I felt I couldn’t handle was more along the lines of lack of communication and manipulation.

Aha.

Also; I <3 New York.

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Hizzuh!

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

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A very bad photo of a very lovely painting. 10×20″ Acrylic. Not for sale.

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Daedalus Rising was super fun. The weather was perfect for us, our audience was gracious and totally into it, and Daedalus is one sexy bitch!

I ate fire, got spun on the rope, beat the crap out of the artistic director and got to crawl through the crowd hissing at people like an animal. What more could I ask for, dare I say? Actually, I suppose apathetic sound guy could have picked up a clue or two along the way, if I had a say in things…

Our blocking for the exceptionally complex piece I was in went straight through the window with no lyrics for us to que from due to tech difficulty. I felt awful for The Red King, who traveled all the way from Portland to perform his music and had no mic. Thankfully he has an extensive visual element to his performances! We were off kilter, but pulled it out like crazy and our audience of 2000 people, a new personal record (SEAF last year was 1500), was totally stoked.

I was unable to see most of the other pieces. What I was able to see of the performances were well done - I’m impressed with the ability of the performers and crew to maneuver an uncontrollable outdoor environment and the various unexpected difficulties that provides.

[nggtags gallery="Drising"]

Plus a video from http://www.capitolhillseattle.com/2009/05/02/cal-anderson-aerial-show-pictures-movies !!!

Fun stuff. :) I have a great time performing in that piece.

Free to the public!

Who: The Cabiri
What: Aerial dance
When: May 1 2009.
Where: Cal Anderson Park

Read the rest of this entry »

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

I hope these videos go as viral as I think they will…

Playing For Change | Song Around The World “Stand By Me” from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.

There’s also world versions of:

“One Love” http://vimeo.com/3097281
and
“Don’t Worry” http://vimeo.com/2903195

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, I played a little flash game called samorost. I’d never seen something so well made in flash. I fell in love with it, and at the time, I wrote the author and asked if he wanted me to mirror his game on phuqed. He agreed, and I suspect I may be one of the few people who has the original game in its entirety besides the creators.

I ran across my copy of it recently, and thought I might want to put it back up - But thankfully, it’s not only alive and well on the web, but has a SEQUEL on top of it! Rad!!

http://amanita-design.net/samorost-1/

http://amanita-design.net/samorost-2/

Memories, anyone?

(P.S. Some may appreciate knowing that the $5 full version of the sequel has a $3.50 sircharge, making it closer to a $10 game than $5)

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Modeling, styling, photography, post, and photo manip all by me. I pulled these out alone at my house in about 3 hours from start to finish Used vector flower brushes II by yasney chan, and Tree borders III brushes. [singlepic id=1373 w=300]

Print Available

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Was a fun show. I always enjoy working with jme, and I got to hang out with josie for the first time in years. You’d think living in the same city, we’d make opportunities to hang out more often but it just doesn’t seem to work out that way, I had a lovely time catching up.

[nggtags gallery=sfw09 float=center]

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

I went through and converted all livejournal user accounts on neevita today. If you logged in before with username@livejournal.com, your account is now just username, with everything set the same as before, including your password.

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

It seems to me that this has been done somehow before, though I can’t think of an example offhand. I just signed up to DibSpace, a new online marketplace that uses a non-money currency as a bartering tool and have been playing with it. The design seems rather preliminary - the sites been around for about two months or so now - and already has about 600 members offering goods for up for dibs.

It’s like bartering but better - they keep track of your non-cash money (dibits), which are equal in value to dollars, and send you a tax doc at the end of the year to keep you legal. Rather than finding someone who’s services you want to trade for, you offer your own services for dibits, and then spend those dibits on whatever you want from the other businesses offering on the site.

From the looks of it, two guys run the thing. My initial support question, about setting up multiple businesses, was answered within about 5 minutes (soon, it will be possible to set up more than one business per account - which is good, for me.). It could easily out grow its staff, so I’m personally preparing for growing pains and looking forward to being on the ground floor to help out.

This site has even got me considering offering services I might not offer usually - like setting up a wordpress website for 150 dibs or whatever - and already thinking more creatively about how to get by in tight times. Oh, and they give you 100 dibs to spend just for signing up and adding your business.

If you join, please use https://www.dibspace.com/users/new?referral=courtnee@gmail.com - I get 30 dibs if you use me as your referral.

Sweet!

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

I am very happily tired.

It was a very productive, enjoyable weekend for me. Saturday started, after having trained 3 times this week, with a bike ride up queen anne hill and a rehearsal for the fashion show I’m doing on Thursday. I was exhausted before the art-a-thon even began, and my performance, though well received and wisely put to forgiving music and shameless nakedness, was less than technically stellar.

Aside from performing Saturday evening, doing a wee bit of art modeling and working out on the silks a bit to get some pictures, I focused on one large project - painting an 8 foot by 4 foot panel. And paint that panel I did, after what I realized had been nearly 5 months without painting. ugh! Unacceptable.

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Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

I just got back from SFW rehearsal up on queen anne hill (which I biked up, rawr!). I’m getting excited! It’s going to be a hell of an affair. Tickets are just $15 at http://www.seattlefashionweek.net/ticket It’s a real steal, from what I have been seeing in rehearsals and how huge the event is.

I got some great feedback on my walk, which I was pleased to have considering I’ve walked on the runway maybe twice I think, and the last time was the Crave party (for the same people putting this on, picture below) like 4 years ago or something.

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Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Two things I want to post about.

One, is that I am effin BLONDE. Like, EFFIN blonde. Dreadful Jonquil of fiercelocks rocked the lift on my hair. It was amazing. I am unlikely to attempt to go blonde at home again. After 15 years of futzing with orange haystack hair and damage control, it is clear to me that the best person to bleach my hair is not me.

Two is a first in my life, at least that I can remember. I’m pretty gurgled up from the aftermath of what I believe to have been an attack of the allergens. While leaning forward, doing something normal like flipping the switch on my awesome electric teapot or something, I snorted out a bubble. A big one. And it stayed. Long enough to get this snapshot of it.

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Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Ha! I modeled for this credit sequence a couple years ago, working with Michael Korolenko and Doug Ortega. I thought I might never actually get to see it :) It’s filmed in HD, but isn’t showing like it on youtube. I’ll try to track down a better copy, now that I know it was completed and is semi released.

This Rocket Man movies pay homage to the comic book serials of the 1940’s. They’re really cute and fun.

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Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

It’s been a while. I don’t tend to write much the last year or so, though perhaps that may change now that I have a new site incarnation to play with. I suppose there are some basics to cover, first off.

neevita.net is all new. I switched from Drupal to Wordpress. Some stuff isn’t really finished yet. The basics are covered though, including an LJ crossposter. I have it set to automatically post public entries.

At the moment I look like this:

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Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Checkid out..

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Platinum blond wig with white, grau and blond marble dreads - a special order for Kat.

http://fakehair.net

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A terrible photo of a beautiful new painting for the new year. Created for Donn and Kerry on their wedding day, Jan 1 2009. Congratulations. You guys rock.

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Obsidian Carnivale

Nov '08 - Feb '09

http://littleredstudioseattle.com
http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/43483

It's official. I'm directing a show at Little Red Studio, called Obsidian.

Provocative, and powerful, Obsidian is a journey and a story. Designed to draw the audience into a created world, Obsidian is an immersion. It's dark, visual, sensual, psychological, in the theme of obsessive love -an exhilarating experience incorporating performance art, circus acts, dance, movement, spoken word, and so much more. It's a large interactive show, with about 40 cast and crew members committed to encouraging you to beg the question; What is that controlling force in our lives?

I am inspired and excited by all that is coming about and how the production has come together. The show has countless layers to it from the obvious to the flat out strange. I doubt I've had the same answer to "whats your show about?" twice. And, it's of course unbelievably hot, in my own special twisted flavor.

We opened Nov 15th, 2008, within a hair of selling out. Since then, all shows have sold out, some with waiting lists as large as 25. Our remaining show date is Feb 21. You don't want to miss this powerful, captivating spectacle. Tell your friends, and get your tickets early - They're going fast.

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/43483

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Rough Draft

Roommate H says: "It sounds better live.. the recording doesn't get the resonance of your actual voice. It's like a gothic version of sinead o'conner"

tee hee :)

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This is the first of 3 new paintings I've done this week at the studio, and the largest. It's the same size as the first large scale painting I did for the Psychedelic show. It feels wonderful, like I'm vibrating with life, to be inspired to paint again.

Cheers.

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It's been an interesting few days for me.

Throughout the implication of Obsidian; writing the show, bringing it all together with a cast and tech and raking in ideas from all over to add nuance and meaning, the process has seemed, to me, to be easier than I expected. Particularly emotionally.

I've been amused and beguiled by the cast and crew of the show, the amazing community we've created among ourselves, and my being able to trust in others to help me tell such a huge story. I've marveled at how dense and wide sweeping the well of material I draw from is, that as the show developed more and more into the collaborative effort from us all I wanted it to be, the show still entirely encompasses stories and themes I relate to personally. It's everyones and it's mine.

I dealt with some insecurity about the suicide scene in particular, and my other performances in the show, partially because as the director I didn't have much time to work on my own stuff until the last few days before we opened.

Mostly though, the show has flowed out of me, and I wasn't very concerned. It was a very different feeling from when I first started performing, and then first started telling stories with my performance, when I would nearly throw up before I went on stage and b-line it to the green room after to shake and sob and freak out.

It didn't make much sense to me, why this one was easy. I guess I'd decided that I was going to focus on putting on a show, and not too much on why I had created it as I had. I guess it had to do with having a crew of about 40 other people creating something much larger than ourselves. I guess it had to do with being ready.

On Saturday, I turned what was once my life, things I've held on to for so long, over to my crew to present to our audience. I was, mostly, another performer in the show, compared to my place in the rehearsal and creation process. And it was awesome.

The day after the show, I was fucking wiped. Just drained all to hell. And I was intermittently crying, soft and sad and alone and quiet. Relaxing my hold.

There are countless personal flavors and colors in this show. My best friend singing a minimalist, almost not applicable rendition of the song I, literally, killed myself to as a teen. A swans feather as an implement of self harm. A locket which narrowly survived being burned along with most things physical that linked me to someone I found I never truly knew at all. Homages to films that shaped me. It goes on, and on, as deep and far back and my first memories, of snow.

Obsidian, being the clearing of expression I wanted it to be for everyone involved, is also a story of the romantic relationships I've had in my life. A completion, an epic story, of two characters - each of which I have been, and each of which I have faced. The light and the dark and the layers under what we're allowed to see. And in the end, the light wins. In the end, all that remains of the dark is in someone's head, like it's all in mine.

I find it ironic, fitting, and beautiful that I'm doing this on my own, in no relationship, for the first time in my life. I've valued my solace. And sometimes, I think I miss being lost inside someone else, though I've grown wise enough not to do anything about that right now.

It's quiet here, now that these angels, these lost souls, have others to speak through. And I feel a chill, as their bony fingers seep into the air around my neck. I'm reminded, as I softly mourn the familiar grip of my old companions, that freedom, is never free.

What now?

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

The big day is approaching. The nights get longer, more rich and dense, as what is affectionately coined ‘hell week’ (by my friends who are much better versed in the in’s and out’s of theater than I am) pushes onward. I see why one might call it that, and there is no place else I would rather be, or anything else I would rather be doing. Perhaps that is where the energy to press on is coming from - cause it sure ain’t common sense or physical logic.

The show is, in a word, stunning. The creative process of putting this evening together has been flowing, expanding, fruitful and an absolute joy to watch. Working with others to this extent to project a vision into the world has opened me up to a whole new dimension of collaboration and possibility in expression as an artist and performer.

It’s just been a total pleasure to direct this project, this fine collection of artists, under a veil that has encouraged their expression and ideas, and to be open to receiving the wondrous results in allowing the unexpected to unfold. Knowing that the person I was, even a year ago, could not have accepted this gift.. well. Let’s just say, I feel good right now. Really good.

Did I mention how fucking awesome this show is?

Obsidian opens this Saturday, Nov 15th, at the Little Red Studio. Tickets and a short description of the show are available through BPT and Little Red Studio.

This is my first full fledged show. I am the creative director, co-producer, multiple hat wearer, and one of the main performers. If you like my work, it’s rather a given that you’ll enjoy this show. We are a tremendous crew, if I do say so. Come see it! It’s going to be friggin epic.

And.. Thank you, for your support all of these years.

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The big day is approaching. The nights get longer, more rich and dense, as what is affectionately coined 'hell week' (by my friends who are much better versed in the in's and out's of theater than I am) pushes onward. I see why one might call it that, and there is no place else I would rather be, or anything else I would rather be doing. Perhaps that is where the energy to press on is coming from - cause it sure ain't common sense or physical logic.

The show is, in a word, stunning. The creative process of putting this evening together has been flowing, expanding, fruitful and an absolute joy to watch. Working with others to this extent to project a vision into the world has opened me up to a whole new dimension of collaboration and possibility in expression as an artist and performer.

It's just been a total pleasure to direct this project, this fine collection of artists, under a veil that has encouraged their expression and ideas, and to be open to receiving the wondrous results in allowing the unexpected to unfold. Knowing that the person I was, even a year ago, could not have accepted this gift.. well. Let's just say, I feel good right now. Really good.

Did I mention how fucking awesome this show is?

Obsidian opens this Saturday, Nov 15th, at the Little Red Studio. Tickets and a short description of the show are available through http://neevita.net/?q=node/5561

This is my first full fledged show. I am the creative director, co-producer, multiple hat wearer, and one of the main performers. If you like my work, it's rather a given that you'll enjoy this show. We are a tremendous crew, if I do say so. Come see it! It's going to be friggin epic.

And.. Thank you, for your support all of these years.

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Originally published at neevita.net. Pictures don't crosspost correctly - if the entry looks like it's blank or doesn't make sense, check the original neevita post to view.

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Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Now that the votes are in, Dr. King’s dream is that much closer to realization. We all have dreams. What’s yours?

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

It’s occurred to me that I haven’t directly mentioned LRDS here. Shame on me.

Little Red Day Spa is a sister venture to Little Red Studio, except, it’s a spa. The mission of LRDS is that of sensuality and comfort, much like LRS is. It’s an incredibly safe, nurturing environment to work.

The aesthetic is warm, rustic, natural, almost motherly. It’s incredibly tranquil but.. natural, not so sterile that it seems more like a museum than a place to relax. I absolutely adore doing sessions there.

Paintings from one of my favorite artists are always on the walls, and changed frequently. There are couples, ladies and mens nights to get acquainted with the place before committing to a spa session, and like LRS is to theater, LRDS is an entirely unique spa experience.

My favorite session to do right now is a 2 hour Watsu, mud application and massage. All my favorite sensations and favorite things to do at the spa wrapped up in one. We can even break the Watsu up into two sections, one being a lesson on how to give it, or add a salt scrub to your massage at the end. All in a space that you have all to yourself, with one practitioner providing all your services. Me! :)

http://littlereddayspa.com

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

We wrapped The Ghost Game at Youngstown in West Seattle last night, striking the show as time crept into my birthday. It was a very fun show to work on and to witness, I started really getting into it on the third and last performance.

As I was leaving, word spread that I am a year older this day, and the cast sang me happy birthday. John caught the tail end of it on video - while putting scaffolding together!

I’ve improved greatly in acceptance :)

I came home, replied to some email and hit the sac. Now for a day of work and more set up/tear down for my Murder Mystery Birthday party tonight. Long, fun weekend!

zzz..

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

I spent literally all day in bed yesterday, sans an hour or so attempting to get some records filing done. It was some kind of full body ache hot/cold flash wretched stomach thing where my spine in particular was so sore I could barely roll over in bed. Near as I can figure it, it was from receiving a long awaited massage late the night before and not drinking water.

So there you go - when I say drink water after a massage session, I mean drink water - cause you never know what kind of crap or funky virus will end up being accelerated by massage work.

I feel some better today, though weak from not eating at all. Yuck.

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

I’ve been mucho kinds of sick the last week or so. I got the death that’s been floating around lately, my body is blowing up with cysts (ovaries, face, labia), and I’m bleeding for the first time since july.

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Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

If I have to be miserable, raw, infected and sick, at least I have http://www.the-editing-room.com/thedarkknight.html

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

I am excited to be working part-time at Qliance (http://qliance.com/), an amazing health care facility in Seattle which operates completely outside of the bloated US health insurance system.

I was skeptical at first, like I am about a lot of things. They are, however, stupendously awesome. Better health care for less. Better care for less than my copays under my free-to-me insurance through my old job, even. I spoke, on the phone with a doctor, about becoming a patient for 20 minutes today. 20 minutes. Have you ever done that?

In my search for a health care alternative as I lose that insurance through my former job, they have been an absolute breath of fresh air. For primary care, and the loads of little things I have break on me, I decided to go with them without hesitation last month. I am actually giddy to go in for my first official appointment next week - my 90 minute initial visit with my new doctor.

I’ve been asked a lot about how Qliance works, specifically how they can stay in business for how little they charge, and of course what the ‘catch’ is. I am happy to talk with people about Qliance and my experiences with them, and why I chose to join them vocationally as well as being a patient. I highly suggest that if you’re interested in learning more, you hit up their website at http://qliance.com or give them a call and ask them about it. They are open 7 days a week.

Additionally, though their site has some testimonials if you clicked around, it really bares mentioning a few of these:

http://chaunceybell.wordpress.com/2008/04/26/concerned-about-healthcare-watch-this/
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=490773
http://www.yelp.com/biz/qliance-medical-group-seattle

As someone with many medical challenges, who’s involved in multiple forms of the medical profession including practice as well as insurance administration, and as a human being, I am so glad to see someone finally doing this. I am an advocate.

Bravo.

Originally published at neevita.net. Pictures don't crosspost correctly - if the entry looks like it's blank or doesn't make sense, check the original neevita post to view.

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Please note: This entry is sticky at the top of my lists. To see my new entries, please scroll down.

I am excited to be working part-time at Qliance (http://qliance.com/), an amazing health care facility in Seattle which operates completely outside of the bloated US health insurance system.

I was skeptical at first, like I am about a lot of things. They are, however, stupendously awesome. Better health care for less. Better care for less than my copays under my free-to-me insurance through my old job, even. I spoke, on the phone with a doctor, about becoming a patient for 20 minutes today. 20 minutes. Have you ever done that?

In my search for a health care alternative as I lose that insurance through my former job, they have been an absolute breath of fresh air. For primary care, and the loads of little things I have break on me, I decided to go with them without hesitation last month. I am actually giddy to go in for my first official appointment next week - my 90 minute initial visit with my new doctor.

I've been asked a lot about how Qliance works, specifically how they can stay in business for how little they charge, and of course what the 'catch' is. I am happy to talk with people about Qliance and my experiences with them, and why I chose to join them vocationally as well as being a patient. I highly suggest that if you're interested in learning more, you hit up their website at http://qliance.com or give them a call and ask them about it. They are open 7 days a week.

Additionally, though their site has some testimonials if you clicked around, it really bares mentioning a few of these:

http://chaunceybell.wordpress.com/2008/04/26/concerned-about-healthcare-...
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=490773
http://www.yelp.com/biz/qliance-medical-group-seattle

As someone with many medical challenges, who's involved in multiple forms of the medical profession including practice as well as insurance administration, and as a human being, I am so glad to see someone finally doing this. I am an advocate.

Bravo.

Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

Warning: This is a gross entry.

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Originally published at Neevita.net. You can comment here or there.

4 beats of intro

2 beats - silks come from side one after the other
2 beats bring silks together

Send a heartbeat to (climb)
The void that cries through you (climb)
Relive the pictures that have come to pass (climb, set arms)
For now we stand alone (pike)
The world is lost and blown (headstand)
And we are flesh and blood disintegrate (thread)
With no more to hate (lock foot change hands)

Is it bright where you are (birth through R)
Have the people changed (gesture L)
Does it make you happy you’re so strange (iron cross)
And in your darkest hour (tuck)
I hold secrets flame (stag)
We can watch the world devoured in its pain (twist to foot and get shoulders out)

(flag, bring silks in front, wrap footlock, stand)

Delivered from the blast (arch)
The last of a line of lasts (stag leg, twist to silks)
The pale princess of a palace cracked (sink to sitting)
And now the kingdom comes (lay back)
Crashing down undone (tip)
And I am a master of a nothing place (zita star)
Of recoil and grace (turn to silks)

Is it bright where you are (kick off foot lock)
Have the people changed (straddle to open)
Does it make you happy you’re so strange (wrap leg to bat hang)
And in your darkest hour (sit up, tick-tock)
I hold secrets flame
We can watch the world devoured in its pain (key over)

(log roll)
(key over)

Time has stopped before us (stand on the ground)
The sky cannot ignore us (groundwork)
No one can separate us (straddleclimb +.5)
For we are all that is left (straddleclimb +.5)
The echo bounces off me (set up for big drop)
The shadow lost beside me
There’s no more need to pretend
Cause now I can begin again (drop)

Is it bright where you are (sit up)
Have the people changed (peter pan)
Does it make you happy you’re so strange (twist wrap off leg)
And in your darkest hour (climb)
I hold secrets flame (climb, single foot lock)
We can watch the world devoured in its pain (sling pose)
Strange (arm positioning)
Strange (arabesque)
Strange (arch)

(decent)